Hopefully this answer will make it to you this time.
think it is appropriate to give you an overview of the matrimonial finances and how the court deals with the same.
In relation to the matrimonial finances - the correct way of dealing with the same is by making a claim which can only be done once divorce proceedings have been issued.
The matrimonial finances includes all of the assets and liabilities for both of you including the equity in your house and all other assets. You will both be under a duty of full disclosure to provide full details of all assets and liabilities for both of you to each other.
Your marriage is a longer one and therefore the starting point for the division of all assets is equality.
The court considers the following criteria when deciding to depart from equality:
The income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would, in the opinion of the Court, be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;The financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;The standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;The age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;Any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;The contributions which each of the parties has made or is likely in the foreseeable future to make to the welfare of the family, including any contribution by looking after the home or caring for the family;The conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would, in the opinion of the Court, be inequitable to disregard it;In the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to each of the parties to the marriage of any benefit which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage, that party will lose the chance of acquiring (e.g. a right to your spouse’s pensions).
If any of the above criteria apply in your case then you can seek a larger share of the assets.
From what you have said as you will share the care of your children and as your income is very similar then the starting point is really going to be equality.
The court is going to want security for the children and there is not likely to be enough equity in the house for the house to be sold and the equity split and you both rehouse the children outright. You could agree between to split the equity and move on now and a court can approve this if this is agreed between you but if this is not agreed then a court would likely order that the house not be sold until the children reach 18 and one of you would reside with the children there until this point.
You need to consider referring to family mediation. This is a prerequisite before you can apply to court. Google family mediation in your area and give them a call to self refer.
Mediation will try and help you both through full disclosure of both your financial positions and discussions about division.
In relation to the matrimonial finances If agreement can be reached at mediation then a consent order should be submitted to the court when applying for decree absolute in divorce proceedings to finalise matters.
If agreement cannot be reached at mediation then the mediator will sign the form that you need to apply to court.
If divorce is not yet contemplated then you could consider a separation agreement. Mediation could again help you agree the terms for this and what is going to happen in the interim whilst you are separated. You need to be aware that such separation agreements are not legally binding on a future family court Judge but they can and do order in line with what was agreed if they considered that full disclosure had taken place and what was agreed was fair.
In relation to income, if you have a true shared care arrangement where the children spend time with you both equally then under the child maintenance rules no maintenance is payable. If one or you has the children more then the other then that person can claim child maintenance through the child maintenance service. They have a useful calculator on their website which would tell you the liability based upon income and nights with the children.
As your income is similar, they shouldn't be a claim for spousal maintenance. The court would include your overtime on an average basis.
Please do let me know if I can help you further
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