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ukfamilysolicitor
ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1494
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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My ex wont let me see my children with a million excuses. Is

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My name is ***** ***** my ex wont let me see my children with a million excuses. Is that fair? I did not see them for 6 months!!
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
I can not afford to pay him any money which he is demanding (300 per month) and for that reason he claims the children do not wish to see me.
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
what is wrong? page not responding
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call.
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.

Hello Andrea

Welcome to Just Answer

I am a Solicitor and will assist you.

I am so sorry to hear what your ex is doing.

Please may I ask:

- how old are your children?

- are there any current court orders in place?

- how long have they lived with their father?

- is it just over money that he says you cannot see them?

kind regards

Caroline

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Hi Caroline
Eldest Christian and he is 14 Seth is 13 and Nefeli is 11
there are no court orders in place the divorce happened fast and through the Bury council.
they have been living with their father since October 2010
Part of it is money, part of it is that he and his wife have decided that I can't look after them.
All I need at the moment is a letter from you stating my rights and that I would like to see my kids every other weekend Non failing.
His wife is now calling the shots you see as she is the one wearing the pants so to speak.
Thank you for responding to me so quick this it much appreciated.
Kind Regards
Andrea

Hello

Sorry I cannot call you this evening. I could call you on Monday - if this was ok?

Otherwise I am happy to keep typing - is this ok?

kind regards

Caroline

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Sure we can keep typing not a problem
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Just want to mention that we own a house together, which it is now rented out and he is receiving rent for about £500pm he has been receiving the rent from when we split up. I wanted him to have it because I couldn't give him any more money. When we separated I had nothing and at the time I was doing some voluntary work.
Please note I am not an alcoholic and I am not a drug addict just a bit unfortunate.

Thank you Andrea

Why are they saying you cannot look after them - what reasons are they giving you?

Was there any order made in relation to the matrimonial finances when you separated?

ps - I will be back in 5 minutes

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
They decided that Until I have a bigger better house a steady Job per their standards and a car I can't see them regularly, they feel that I am unstable financially. And as a person
I am now working as a volunteer have been for about 10 months. I am studying in the field of mental health and self improvement in order to be a counselor and I have my own little business where I fund my courses and my rent. It leaves little money to pay a few debts.
No order has been made in regards ***** ***** etc.
I just felt it was only fair that he had the rent at the time as I was naive enough to think that they were better off if the kids stayed at the house they were settled in rather than me uprouting them. At the time we could see eye to eye but nince he found another woman things have been going from bad to worse.
She has been demanding more money. And now they don't let me see the kids at all.
I have told his wife in the past that I was thinking to get a solicitor but she said DON't you don't have to.
I really don't know why it took to come to this to realize that they are just taking me for a ride and That I am being a push over.
I think it's because the relationship I had with my ex was abusive. Not physically but psychologically he always made me feel useless and good for nothing a waist of space and that I couldn't do anything right. I lived with this for 10years and I started to believe it. It's only recently that I started believing in my self again through my studies.
All I need from you is a letter saying that I am entitled to see my kids every other weekend to begin with No fail and no lame excuses.
Can you help me? And what will it cost?
Best Andrea

Hello Andrea

Thank you for your response - please can you tell me:

- was it your divorce petition?

- have you remarried?

- what is the equity in the house?

- what other matrimonial assets were there including pensions?

- how much do you both earn?

kind regards

Caroline

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
It was his pettition
Never remarried never been in a relationship since.
The equity in the house must be about 40 to 50k
No other assets
He is on £120-£150 wage a day perhaps more not sure
I can earn about £180 a week part time.
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
We can speak again on Monday if that is ok. I will be able to do so after 6:30 would that be ok?
Andrea

Hello Andrea

Yes that's fine with me. I could call you during the day if you wanted.

I cant write a letter for you as this service is for information only but I can tell you what to do in relation to the children and your share of the equity.

Let me know if you want me to call you on Monday - I can call anytime before 4pm otherwise I'm happy to write you a full answer now telling you what you need to do.

kindest regards

Caroline

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Thank you Caroline
I think if you could put it in writing for me it would be better so I can refer back to it.
You can email me at***@******.***
Thanks again

Im happy to do that.

I cant email it to you but I will prepare you can answer shortly and it will come up in this link.

kind regards

Caroline

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Ok good thank you for your help
Kind Regards
Andrea
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Just a quick question may I ask why can you not send a letter? I just need to understand
Kind regards
Andrea

Hello Andrea

We cant send a letter for you as this service is for online information only.

In relation to the matrimonial finances - as you have not remarried you are still able to make a claim in relation to the same. You do need to consider doing this. Whilst there is not enough equity in the house for it to be sold and your ex and the children to be rehoused, a court will make an order as to what your share is and when you will receive this - this will likely be when the youngest child reaches 18 years old. It may also be the case that the considers that because your ex has remarried and his income is higher than yours he has the ability to buy you out now. The starting point is an equal division of the equity.

You can also claim spousal maintenance because your income is a lot lower. There is no set rule but the court will want to make sure that you have enough to meet your needs.

To do this you first need to refer to family mediation. There are lots of family mediation services and there will be one local to you. Google family mediation in your area and give them a call to self refer.

You can still get legal aid for mediation and they will undertake a legal aid assessment with you.

If agreement can be reached in relation to your share of the property and spousal maintenance at mediation then you need to have this submitted to court as a consent order. This will make it legally binding for you so you can enforce this if you ex doesn't comply in the future.

In relation to the children - you need to know that it is the position of the courts that children are entitled to a really good relationship with both of their parents and this should prevail as long as there are no child protections concerns as to why this cannot happen. The reasons your ex has given you are not of a child protection nature and he needs to be promoting your relationship with the children.

Mediation can help you in relation to the children also. They will try and help you agree a routine without the need for court but if your ex wont agree then they will sign the form tat you need to apply to court. This is the same for the finances.

I know that you have said you are trying to avoid court but in your circumstances given that there is no agreement in relation to your financial settlement yet and you are struggling financially and also given that you have been denied a relationship with your children for so long you really do need to do this.

I note how your ex has previously treated you. Given this behaviour you might be able to get legal aid and have a solicitor help you with both the children matters and the financial matters. You first need evidence of domestic violence. Print off this letter in this link and take it to your GP. Explain how your husband has previously treated you and how he is still treating you such as denying you a relationship with your children. Ask your GP to refer to you to a domestic violence service so that you can get support for yourself and then take the letter to your local family legal aid solicitor so that they can assess your means. Given your limited income and the limited equity in the house you should be able to get legal aid for both matters.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/referrals-to-specialist-domestic-violence-support-services-health-professionals

The solicitor will then be able to write to your ex with proposals in relation to both the children and finances and if agreement still cannot be reached then they will be able to issue court proceedings for you and represent you at court.

Its better to do this now rather than waiting as the longer you don't see your children the harder this will be. You need to rebuild the relationships asap. If your ex says the children dont want to see you then a court officer (cafcass) can be asked to speak to the children and ascertain their true and wishes and feelings and also see if they are being coerced by him. The court will work from the premise that your children should see you and he should be promoting that.

let me know if I can assist you further

kind regards

Caroline

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Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Wow thank you for the advice Caroline this is very helpful

Thank you for your kind words Andrea

I'm glad that I could help you. I wish you all the best.

kindest regards

Caroline