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Clare
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35215
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Im pregnant with my partners child. He has a 15y old

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Im pregnant with my partners child. He has a 15y old daughter in fostercare.
The daughter has mental health issue and has come from a traumatised back ground.for 4 years my partner choose to keep me separate from her life. now we having a baby hes trying to integrate us. He bases this decision on what her counsellor says, without consideration of the impact on our exisiting family.
This does not work for me and our family as it imposes on my family family life and values.His daughter is a severe case of harming and self harming. She has a violent history and so does her mother. He history includes a staged abduction with her mother and repeated lying to get her way. She repeated self harms just before or after contact, and gives negatives views of her contact with her dad, despite social workers saying the opposite.I have made a decision that I do not want my partner or his daughters counsellor to talk about me or my baby to his daughter. I dont want to have any association with her. She is a threat to my children safety and I do not want to have to deal with this.I have a child from my previous relatiohnship who is the opposite of this girl. I need to protect my children.My partner will not confirm to me in writing or verbally that he will respect my wishes. What are my legal rights.
I am considering writing to the daughter's counsellor to inform them of my decision.I am still with my partner, but we are living separate due to the constant conflict of this matter. I am ok with him having access to our baby just not his daughterI am getting stressed and it is affecting my baby with hospitalisation for potetntial early labour.My concern is I do not know the full extent of his daughters mental health, and get dropped information intermittently. However in 4 years there been little progression, and I feel proigression now in 4 months is false and with intetion to cause conflict in our existing family.
My partner without holds information and tells me at last minute without allowing me to make a decision about his daughter's impact.I do not plan on including my partner on our child birth certificate as we are not married.Just finding this too much to deal with

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

What contact does your partner currently have with his daughter!

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
He has supervised contact once a month with her with social workers present.My son who is very settled with our family and my partner goes to his dad every other weekend. Leaving 2 weekend in a month for us to have exclusive time with our new child.
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My partner travels extensively for work and barely around.I have no respite cover apart from childcare when I am working.
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Just so you are aware.
My partners daughters mental health issues are undiagnosed. As thats what he says.
However she is on anti depressants and receiving clinical psychological help 2-3 x a week.her mother has a history of Mental health issues too.
She asbergers, munchausen syndrome, violent and aggressive behaviour to harm, and others I cant remenber them all,
The daughter has the same contact with the mother but more legions with her mother.combinely they planned an abduction over a 2 month period.Thanks

Just for clarity - you will object to your partner trying to take you new baby to see his daughter - is that correct?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
I am not comfortable with any intereaction with my baby or my son.
I am not happy for my partners daughter to know or come to my home. At present she doesn't.Until i have clarity of her mental health status and that she is stable for at least a year, will show some sort of progression in her theraphy.
There are too many unknown risks and she has already expressed jealousy towards our baby. Who knows where that could lead. No one wants to clarify that from her therapists.I also believe that I should be involved in her development if there is any intention to include her into our family.
If my concern were elevated then I should she no problem for progressed interaction.Thanks

Are you willing to end your relationship on this point?

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
that will be unfortunate. because these issues were discussed before getting commited and having a baby. he always pledged that his daughter made her choices and has rejected him. he was not holding back his life anymore.
Originally we were his priority.We have a good relationship outside his daughter and some financial issues that extend from his past.As much as im willing to accept him , i will walk away to protect my children.
I cannot allow his daughter to ruin a home i worked so hard to build.So yes if he chooses to support his daugther then i will have to leave.

After the baby is born you if your partner still wishes to take the baby to see his daughter you will be able to apply to the courts for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent this as it is not safe for the child

You can also consider not adding his name to the Birth Certificate so that he has to start Court Proceedings should he wish to be added - and this issue can then be discussed within the proceedings

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Thats reasurring and helpful.Can i get an injunction to stop his daughter causing harm on us as a family . she is propelled by a vicious mother.

No I am afraid so far she has done nothing that would entitle you to a non molestation order

Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
thank you