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plclegal, Barrister
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 5992
Experience:  Barrister at law
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Assistant: How can I help? i have a question Assistant: What

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Assistant: Hi. How can I help?
Customer: i have a question
Assistant: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: regarding an abusive relationship and child custody
Assistant: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: Hampshire
Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: we are not married, have a baby through ivf, partner has bullied me for three years and now making out like he has been the one bullied to try take our baby. No formal action yet.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I believe I’m in an emotionally abusive relationship. I have tried to leave before but my partner has threatened custody of our one year old baby. I have tried to talk to him about this but he manages to somehow always make it look like I am at fault and to blame and tells me I’m mentally unstable. I finally got him to go see a psychotherapist to work through his anger etc. He has come back saying I have been abusing him and ‘gaslighting’ and he now has it on record so he can make sure he gets custody of our baby . He says he will fight for this (he has money and the knowledge etc and I do not.) He told me today that he has also seen a solicitor to record all this an the abuse he has suffered.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
He has been abusive to a number of other people who have said he is a bully. Including the nurses whilst I was in hospital, and the registrar came to speak with him to tell him to stop and that his behaviour was unacceptable. He is a strong personality and I’m very scared if I try to leave, that he will get custody of our son.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
He also tells me he does not love me frequently and will never marry me. But tries to get me to break off the engagement as he says then by law, I have to give him the ring back. But if I do try to break up with him, he says he forgives me and will ignore everything I have said.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I do love him and would like to sort things out between us. But feel I need to know my legal rights too.
I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you with your question, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.
I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you.
Thank you!

Hello, my name is ***** ***** I’ll do my best to assist you today.

Please bear in mind as this is an email service and not live chat I may not respond immediately.

I appreciate that this is difficult for you.

Can you tell me who is, in general, the main carer for your child?

Do you live in a house that you both own, or are you renting?

Would you have a safe place to go to if you were to leave the family home?

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I am the main carer and that is why I gave up work. My partner pays all the bills.
The house is his, I no longer have a house as sold mine before the baby.

OK, do you have anywhere to go if you were to move out?

The other option to consider is applying for a non-molestation and occupation order - preventing him from contact and excluding him from the home (regardless of who owns it, the outcome is based on need).

This is only a short term measure though, as orders are made for up to 6 months.

Either way, if you are the main carer for your child then it is likely that you would continue to be for the time being and if you were to move out he would have to apply to court for contact if you were not in agreement.

Can I clarify anything in particular for you?

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
please. I asked him to address his behaviour and the emotional abuse numerous times. He denies it and did go see someone and the gp but told me yesterday he has this all recorded now as me abusing him. And I will not get the baby. I have sent him upset text messages before and he says this is proof.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I do have E-Mail trails over the last two years begging him to stop . And the midwife pulled him up at hospital. I have nowhere else to go. I don’t want his house though.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
He is saying he will show that I am abusive and mentally unstable (he tells me I am all the time.) and he will definitely get at least joint custody. He has told me already that he will have the baby from Wednesday to Saturday night.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
He says the doctors he has seen has now recorded this so he will take me to court and will win. I have no financial means to fight this.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I am very certain that if the midwife who treated me in hospital and registrar were contacted, they would have something to say.

To be honest him telling you this is further evidence of the abusive behaviour you are suffering.

It's cruel to suggest that you be separated from your baby.

I would suggest that you speak to women's aid about options for you to find a safe place as a victim of domestic abuse:

I hope this helps?

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
Thank you. I’m scared if I go that route , others will be involved before I have a chance to try sort things. As obviously my most favourable outcome is for the baby to have both parents together. I have no proof of him telling me this and he now does seem to have a trail where he has sought help and recorded that he is a victim.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
Thank you I will contact someone today.

My pleasure.

If you have further questions, you can always come back to me.

In the meantime, if you could take a second to provide a 5 star rating (at the top right of your screen), I'll be credited for my time spent responding to your question.

Kind regards,


plclegal, Barrister
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 5992
Experience: Barrister at law
plclegal and 3 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you