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SASH_Law, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1802
Experience:  LLB (Hons)
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I am looking for help with family law please Assistant:

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Hi I am looking for help with family law please
Assistant: Where are you? It matters because laws vary by location.
Customer: Birmingham
Assistant: What steps have you taken so far?
Customer: Well I did have an arrangement with my ex but the goal posts keep being moved, and it is affecting my daughter so this is my 1st step. I wanted to see what my options are before I make any rash decisions
Assistant: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: What would they need to know and I can explain no problem?
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
I am on the birth certificate, I have been involved in my daughters life from day 1. We split up about 4 yrs ago and i had my daughter for a few hrs after school then every other weekend and some inbetween. I changed jobs 8 months ago and have to work a lot of weekends, it is a rota and I get sunday mondays off for 3 wks then Saturdays and sundays, then Tuesdays and wednesdays. She's not happy I cant have the weekends off, but I have explained I am still seeing my daughter it doesn't matter surely what days they are as long as I spend time with her. So now she has stopped me seeing her and toldcsa i dont have her i havent for a month
Just a little information of where i am at.

Hi, I'm Lea and I have reviewed your query.


What is the pattern of contact you would like with your daughter? What objections is her mother raising to agreeing to this pattern?

Hello, do you still require assistance with this?

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
I would like to pick my daughter up 2 evenings and then the days I am off each week over night.( I have a rolling rota I can provide, ) I start work at 4am so I can finish at a reasonable time so I can still see my daughter on the evenings, so I cant have her overnight on workdays due to early starts.
The objections are I am not having my daughter on the weekends and I am not paying her enough.

There is no obligation for you to have your child at weekends if you work on weekends. A court would make a decision based on what is in the best interests of the child, and maintaining a relationship with you would be deemed important.


As your ex is moving the goalposts, I'd suggest that you try mediation - which is a requirement before you can go to court, but if mother won't engage, then you need to attend what is known as a MIAM (mediation information assessment meeting) to get your form signed by a mediator so you can apply to court for an order instead. There are some exemptions from attending a MIAM – the form provides more information on whether you meet that criteria or not.


The form you need is called a C100, which you can find here:


The form needs to be a) signed by the mediator, b) filled in by you, (you are asking for a child arrangements order) and then c) copied three times (with a fourth copy which you will keep for your own records). You must then take or send the original plus 3 copies to the family court closest to where the child lives.


You can find the right court here:


The fee for filing is £215, but you may be entitled to fee remission if you are on a low income or benefits, see here:


Does that assist?

Hello, did that help answer your query?

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Yes sorry just had to pull over to reply.
I do have more questions can I reply when I stop driving?

Yes, of course.

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
My ex told the csa I havent had my daughter for 4 weeks and wont be having her from now on. I have had her apart from the 2 and a half wks she stopped me but she wont change the csa to say I have my daughter twice a wk she has lied. I tried to ring and told them the truth but they said I need evidence and they have to believe my ex. Although I said you have no evidence from her that I am not seeing her. I am happy to pay I always have but dont feel it is fair to pay for 7 days when I have her overnight 2 days. So until she changes it I feel I should just pick my daughter up from school a few nights a wk and take her home on the evening, as that is what she is saying. I dont want to do this as I want my daughter but feel unless I stand my ground she will continue to take the Mickey, putting it lightly. If I picked my daughter up from school can my ex tell the school I cant pick her up ? I have no criminal past of any sort so there is no reason they or she could me is there without a court order ?

There isn't much you can do in relation to the CMS without proof - such proof either being a signed agreement between the parents to say how much time the child spends with you, or an order of the court showing the time she spends with you.


I would not suggest reducing the contact - this would be detrimental for the child, and your ex is very likely to use that in court to support a reduction in the nights. You can stop the mother thinking she has the upper hand by getting a court order in place, as per my previous advice.


Does that clarify?

Hello, would you be kind enough to rate positively using the five stars at the top of your page as that is how I am paid for assisting you today. Thank you.

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