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This is an extremely difficult one. In a nutshell, you can’t. If she doesn’t want to pay, there is no court order that will make a play and your only remedy is to get her to leave provided the house is not in joint names although I accept that may not be an option because you have children and the children would not want to be without their mother.
If she leaves and takes the children with her, you would be obliged to pay child maintenance or if you left the children were with you, she would have to pay it.
The question is more common than you would expect in the really isn’t a solution I’m afraid except as I said earlier.