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JimLawyer, Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 7610
Experience:  Senior Associate Solicitor
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I'm abit lost my wife left and too my two children 3 days

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Hi I'm abit lost my wife left and too my two children 3 days ago and dont know where I stand
Assistant: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: None because I can only contact her via email and she has stated the she want to come back with kids only if i live but we both own the house. And i am worried that if i leave so she can come back. She will use it against to i left and wont help her and the kids
Assistant: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: High Wycombe
Assistant: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: She is stating that I have been verbally abusing her which is untrue

Hello, my name is Jim and I am a qualified lawyer happy to help you today.

Is it that you want to know about your right to see the children or the entitlement to the house? Or both?


Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Both please
Customer: replied 3 months ago.
I would rather stay on here and chat thanks

OK, I will start off with the right to see the children.

As their Father you have a right to see them regularly and the family court will encourage this and for you to have an active part in their upbringing. The court will order arrangements for you to see them on specified days and for how long if you cannot agree this with your ex partner. You can also ask for joint custody so they live with you for part of the week if you wish.

You need to contact your ex and say you will have to apply for a child arrangements order and if you are successful then you will ask the court to order she pays the cost.

If she continues to refuse to allow you more contact, you need to contact a mediator as the court will want to know whether you have attended mediation first before involving the court - the mediator will contact your ex and if she refuses to attend then you are free to make the application to the court. This is called “MIAM”, or a mediation assessment.

To find a mediator in your local area, use this site :

In order to apply to the court, you will need to fill out and send form C100 (copy attached) with a cheque of £215 payable to HMCTS to your local family court centre. Or you can ring the court and pay over the phone (or pay in person if you go directly to the court and pay at the counter). If you are on low income/have low savings you can apply for a fee exemption here:

Once you apply the court will list a hearing where you and your ex attends. There will be a family advisor there too (from Cafcass) and if arrangements can be agreed then a consent order will be drawn up.

Next, in terms of the house and any other matrimonial property....


You can sell the property and that would give you each a fresh start. You can either apply for a judicial separation (and then a financial order), or a divorce (if you want to dissolve the marriage) and again, apply for a financial order.

If you disagree and cannot come to an agreement, you can ask the local family court to assess a split of the finances and also to deal with the property.

Assuming your Wife eventually agrees to a settlement then you can have a consent order drawn up to bind the parties to the agreed terms.

The court will consider Section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 when it assesses a financial settlement. Therefore your ages, length of marriage, any children under 18, your earnings and earning potential (same for your Wife), the assets including the former matrimonial home and pensions if applicable, any debts, financial and non-financial contributions to the marriage, your standard of living enjoyed before the marriage breakdown, your financial needs in future and your housing needs, and so on.

The starting point is 50% but if there is a disparity in earnings or you have paid more in the way of mortgage/rent, etc, you can ask for more than 50% of the former matrimonial home. It would be worth speaking with her to see if she would agree to any split without having to involve the court.

If nothing can be agreed then you would need to issue financial remedy proceedings once decree nisi comes through (if you start divorce proceedings), or obtain a decree of judicial separation, so you ask the court to become involved in a financial settlement as well as the divorce.

Before you do this you need to contact a local mediator which is compulsory before you ask the court to intervene in the financial aspect. You can find a local mediator here :

Assuming mediation fails or your husband doesn't agree to mediation then you will need to issue financial remedy proceedings and you would need to complete and send two completed copies of Form A (one copy is attached) to your local family court and pay a fee of £255 payable to HMCTS. If you are on a low income or have low savings you can ask the court for help with the fee here

The court will then list a first appointment and give directions for a financial dispute resolution hearing (FDR) where the judge will give their opinion on a likely settlement - which usually prompts a settlement at this stage. The court will ensure the parties make full and frank disclosure of their assets and liabilities to ensure the financial positions of you both are known and to allow the court to make a settlement decision. If the case does not settle, further directions will be given and a final hearing may take place if neither of you can agree to settlement terms.

To apply for a judicial separation, the site is here:

To apply for a divorce, the site is here:

And for information on a financial order:

I hope this helps - if you can please accept the answer and give me a 5 star rating (there should be a button at the top of your screen to do this), I can answer follow up Q&A's at no extra charge and Just Answer will credit me for helping you today.

Many thanks,


Customer: replied 3 months ago.
The only contact I have with her is email and she is stating she want to return home with children only if I move out

OK, you can trace her with (a tracing agency run by ex-Police) if you do not want to move out.

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
I'm happy to not live there for the time being if she comes back. But dont want to be accused if leaving the home and then not helping her with the children because I have read it somewhere.

You wouldn't lose entitlement if you left. You can tell her she can move in and you want to arrange contact with the kids, and to try and agree finances if you divorce. If you have evidence of texts and emails to show you are being amenable then you will be fine.

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
What do you mean by amenable

To be willing to discuss matters, not being obstructive

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Oh ok. Plus because we have a joint back account for Bill's and mortgage she has emptied the account. So I am worried put money back in to cover Bill's and stuff incase she draws it out

She may do that. The money is equally yours though and you are still married - so you both have a right to the money. I would not recommend you continue to fund that account if she is only going to withdraw the money.

I hope I have helped.

Before you go please don't forget to rate the answer by clicking the 5 stars on screen and clicking “submit”.

Many thanks,


JimLawyer and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Thank you for your help