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ReadyLaw, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1738
Experience:  Bar Professional Training Course
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I am separated with 3 boys aged 12 and 10 (twins). My eldest

Customer Question

I am separated with 3 boys aged 12 and 10 (twins). My eldest has confided to me he keeps a diary when he stays with his dad every other week because of the way he’s treated. It is essentially emotionally abusive.
Assistant: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: We have an agreement in place following mediation and I have a solicitor as it’s been a long drawn out separation.
Assistant: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: I can’t afford expensive solicitor fees.
Assistant: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: I live east London
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
To add more, he has them every other week Wednesday after school to Monday morning and half the holidays. His amount increased significantly approx a year ago. Has recently come out of another relationship and now renting with space for the boys. Appearance wise it all looks good. There is no one to keep his behaviour in check tho and it sounds awful now. All 3 tell me he drinks every day (low functioning alcoholic, ie 3 to 5 beers every day), vapes (they hate this) and is on tinder all the time around then. More of a concern tho he loses his temper a lot shouting in their face m, calls them f**king retards and bastards and my eldest a prick and a c**t and blows hot and cold constantly so he doesn’t know where he stands. My eldest just stays in his room most of the time out of the way. I’m really worried about the impact of this on them. I recognise this behaviour as I was subjected to a lot but I have never shared anything with them - but I know he’s not making it up.
Expert:  ReadyLaw replied 7 months ago.
Good day your question has been forwarded to me to see if I may be able to assist.
Expert:  ReadyLaw replied 7 months ago.
When was the separation agreement agreed?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Trying to remember! One min
Expert:  ReadyLaw replied 7 months ago.
That’s fine I will wait
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
If you’re still there, can we chat this way? Trying to do this cheaply.
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Agreement was signed a year ago
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
It was agreed in mediation which was awful and I wish I’d never agreed to it for boys sake. Will never enter into mediation again as too difficult and stressful
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
This is very frustrating. It looks like you’re online but no response.
Expert:  ReadyLaw replied 7 months ago.

Thank you for the additional information.

This is an email service and not necessarily a text or chat service as such there will be unavoidable delays in the response times at times.

That being said, if it is that the contact arrangements are not working out and there are genuine concerns about their well being when with dad, you can make an application to the court for a variation of the order. In doing so, you may ask for contact to be reduced or for it to be done by supervision ( that is, a third party is there when he visits with the boys). I must warn you though the court is loath to deny a parent access to their child simply because of the parents themselves not getting along. In addition, because of the age of your boys the court will take their best interest into account and may ask them how they feel about any agreement arrived at.

You have mentioned that you did mediation before. You may consider varying the agreement via mediation again. This you will find will be a cost effective way of coming to some alternative arrangements.

All the best