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SASH_Law, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2541
Experience:  LLB (Hons)
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The mother of my child has stopped me access to my child but

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the mother of my child has stopped me access to my child but demanding maintenance money off me
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: no i dont know where to start or get the papers i have given her dates but she has said no to them
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: live in essex
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: my daughter is 2 years old and i pay 200 pound a month to the mother what i have stopped now till i see my gil again daughter again
Customer: replied 7 months ago.

Hi, I'm Lea and I have reviewed your query.

What reason has the mother given for stopping contact? Are there any court orders in place for you to spend time with the child? Are you named on the child's birth certificate?

Please bear in mind this is an email service and not a live chat so responses may not be instantaneous. I am not available for calls, but in all cases it is very likely you can be helped online.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
we agreed i have her for couple of hours on a monday, wednesday, every friday then every other weekend, but ive said i dont want the mondays anymore because she has started nursery she only 2 years old she goes from 9 till half 3 i pick her up at half 6 because of my work so i said she too tired for me to get her and its freezing cold so just feed her shower her then bed because to be honest 2 year old should be asleep by 7, i also said i dont want every friday because i live with my parents and my mum works nights every night so she wants atleast one saturday to catch up on sleep so on the mother weekends she has her on friday aswell as the weekend is friday to sunday.there no court orders in place and im on the birth certificate

So because you want to reduce the time, your ex has stopped all contact?

Customer: replied 7 months ago.

And you have stopped paying the maintenance because of that?

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
yeah because im not seeing my daughter

Firstly, if you had a private arrangement with the mother for the maintenance, and you have stopped it, she will very likely make an application to the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) for a formal agreement to be set up.

It is important to note that child maintenance and whether or not you see the child are not related and are very separate when it comes to the mechanisms of dealing with them. Therefore, if you don't pay the maintenance to the mother, CMS will order you to make payments and will re-assess the amount you are paying too.

Secondly, spending time with your child is very important and the mother should not stop you from seeing her because you feel it's best to reduce the time. I think the reasons you have given are reasonable - and a court would likely agree that once a week and then every other weekend is probably a good balance of time for you to spend with your daughter.

It may be better for you to get a formal child arrangements order in place in order to stop the mother from thinking she can stop contact as and when she likes, but before you can go to court you are obliged to try a mediation information and assessment meeting first.

You can find a local mediator here:

If mediation does not work, you can apply to the court (the mediator will sign your form in the relevant section to prove you have tried mediation first). You need a form C100, which you can find here:

The fee to apply to court is £215, but if you are on a low income or benefits you may be entitled to fee remission, see here:

You need to file the application in the family court closest to where the child lives.

Does that help?

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
what do you think the best route is

Mediation is always the least traumatic route as far as I can see.

It would seem that you and your ex had a reasonable agreement between you before, so I think it is likely that with a bit of help from a mediator that you would be able to come to a new arrangement.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
okay il try that then thank you

You're very welcome.

It is always best to stay away from the courts if you possibly can.

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