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Lawyer21
Lawyer21, CILEx Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2362
Experience:  CILEx Lawyer
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I am looking for an advice to not divorce. I am married for

Customer Question

I am looking for an advice to not divorce. I am married for 27 years with 3 children. I was told my husband wants to divorce me because he fell in love with someone else while I was depressed after my cancer treatment and 3 operations. I have no intention to divorce but he says he can file the divorce after 2 years of separation. We live in one house in province and one in London and still sleeping together. Can I prevent him to divorce me?
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: No. I heard his confession 20 days ago. We still live at least 1 day a week together.
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: i think I know, I live in Cambridge, or family home is there. I start live in London flat but he came and stayed with me.
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: Our adult Asperger son has depression and at home and it was difficult for us, but particularly to me. I am foreign and I have been housewife for whole our married life.
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

Hi How Can I help?

Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

I will read your question and respond shortly-thank you

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Thanks. It’s still early stage and situation is fluid. But I wanted be prepared and arms. What is it be done and what not to do etc. I know nothing about another lady (seems she is from same country as I am ). And I don’t know Her expectation, i.e, whether she want marry my husband, if so how soon, I don’t know her marital status, either. My husband, at moment wants to be with her sooner. I have an impression that her job involves some traveling, that’s why my husband can’t see her that much.
Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

Have you tried mediation?

Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

If you husband files for the divorce he can also use the ground for Adultery especially if his new partner admits that they are in a relationship/are together.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Why are suggesting meditation?
Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

Once you receive the divorce petition from the sealed divorce petition - you will need to reply and respond whether you wish to contest it.

Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

I have suggested meditation as you wish to contest the marriage and if you believe there is still hope given that it is a long marriage.

Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

Depending on the answer/reasons you provide to contest the divorce the court may list a date for a hearing for both parties to attend and try and resolve the issue. If you response is deemed basis (emotional) and holds no real substance then the court may just dismiss your response completely.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Why can he use his own misconduct (Adultery) to ask the divorce? Please remind that I DON’T WANT divorce. I want him to stop doing so, I will have him back. And I am seeking your advice for that.
Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

Yes he can use Adultery!. You just wanting him back when he wants to move on and his partner provides a statement confirming they are in a sexual relationship - it would be difficult for you to contest if he wishes to move on. I understand what you are saying but you cannot stop him applying on this ground!

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I believe I am delay to reply and make it longer, right?
Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

The law states that he can use Adultery. You can contest it - it can be expensive and drag it on longer. However, the court would consider his evidence, his partner etc.

Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

Thank you

Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

Sorry are you still there?

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
My response is that I was ill and wanted help he didn’t provide enough, but I tolerate him and when I become once healthy again we can go back to what we used to. How about our vulnerable adult son? She won’t be a good influence. My son will withdraw more because he has a difficulty to be with any human being.My husband was not looking after him.
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I read it’s judge’s decision.
Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

I understand this - hence the reason you should try mediation and speak to your husband that if he does apply for divorce you will contest it.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
What do yo mean by “his evidence and his partner etc”? Do they work adversary to my wish to remain married?
Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

his own statement, partner's evidence in support of his ground to seek divorce.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Can I sue the other lady for damage and distress she caused? I think in some countries, you can.
Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

This is a completely separate issue

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
It isn’t honorable thing to state that he committed adultery and use it as an evidence to abandon his wife of 30 years who dedicated her life for him and his family?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
it’s separate issue, but can I do it?
Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

I know its hard but long marriages to come to an end.

Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

Thank you.

Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

I would be grateful if you could before you leave, give me a positive rating by clicking on the above and press submit.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I understand what you are saying as a law professional. Is there specialist divorce lawyer who can help me and my intention? Does it take how many years roughly?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
separate issue should be another question?
Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

I will refer you to the lawsociety.org.uk solicitor will be able to assist you further.

Expert:  Lawyer21 replied 7 months ago.

Thank you and good luck