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SASH_Law, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2810
Experience:  LLB (Hons)
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Advise on my 9 year old access, my husband wants to split

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Advise on my 9 year old access, my husband wants to split the custody 3 days one week 4 days another week
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: no nothing as yet its only just happpend the marriage break up I have left him
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: yes I know my local course just wanted advise of if this is possible or good for the child I want him with me when I find somewhere to live and the father to see him at weekends and holidays
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: the police have been involved I had to give a statement due to verbal abuse and phonological abuse, also he has threatened my older daughter of 23 not his daughter, and she has logged this to with the police, and they are to contact him

Hi, I'm Lea and I have reviewed your query.

Who is the child's main carer at present? Are you all still living in the same household?

Please bear in mind this is an email service and not a live chat so responses may not be instantaneous. I am not available for calls, but in all cases it is very likely you can be helped online.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Hi I am the main Carter I am living with my mum and my son is with me but he is staying with his dad too

Is the father suggesting split child arrangements with the week split in the middle - so you have a weekend and so does he? Or that he has weekends and you have the working week?

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
He wants split week so we both have weekends but he’s in full time work and I’m not working as yet so seems daft as I’m taking to school etc

It is unlikely that the court would change the current arrangements if the father is not going to be able to look after the child himself during his time. However, if you intend to work, then your status will be the same and whichever parent the child is with will still need to use childcare.

As you are the child's main carer, and have been for all this time, the court is also going to be unlikely to want to change the status quo unless there are safeguarding reasons, or unless it is deemed to be in the child's best interests for him to split his time between you. The usual order for the vast majority of non resident parents is every other weekend and a day in the other week, plus half school holidays.

You make reference to abuse, so the court is also likely to take that into consideration, if it was in front of the child, or is likely to have an impact on his welfare.

Does that clarify?

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
that does clarify what I was thinking, so is it best to try a discuss this with him what you have said, or it will have to go to court, how do I take it to court as I know he will be unreasonable

It is always best to try to come to some agreement between the two of you, rather than involve the courts if you can. If you can't come to an agreement together, then mediation may be able to assist you. You can find a suitable mediator here:

Please take a moment to rate positively using the five stars at the top of your page as that is how I am paid for assisting you today. You will still be able to ask clarification questions if you need to. Thank you.

SASH_Law and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

If you do have to go to court, you'll need form C100, which the mediator will need to sign before you submit it to court. You can find the form here:

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
My husband has just turned up saying he’s seen a solicitor and that they said he could keep him because he’s in the house and he could work round work, but he didn’t want that so he said there is 2 things 1 being a letter from the solicitor saying what’s what and 2 being mediation and we both have to pay and you wont get legal aid!!! And if you don’t comply I will come worse off, then he said he will have to bring our son back in the morning due to work !! He’s only just picked him up and having him until Saturday evening

This is a new question and should have been posted as such, but I will answer it briefly here.

A solicitor's letter has no more power than if your husband wrote the letter himself. Only a court has the power to order you to do something. Mediation is the preferable way to resolve things, but again, the mediator has no power to make you do something, only the court can order you to do that. You can ignore the solicitor's letter if you wish, but I would suggest you attend mediation given that is a requirement for attending court.

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Ok Thankyou I will go for mediation I am on universal credit so I will get legal aid ?as I have spoke to someone regarding this

Legal Aid is available for mediation if you meet the criteria. You can find a mediator here: