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Ask Jeremy Aldermartin Your Own Question
Jeremy Aldermartin
Jeremy Aldermartin, Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 4825
Experience:  Dual qualified Solicitor and Attorney
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Is there anyone on line now who can help with a child

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Is there anyone on line now who can help with a child protection issue?
Customer: replied 15 days ago.
I was told on the phone yesterday that due to the domestic abuse I have experienced they are considering whether to put him on a CP. They have said they will take 2 weeks to decide, but I don't know what will happen in the next 2 weeks and what I need to do. I have done everything I can to protect my child from the abuse. I am still being subject to some psychological abuse however. I think they are worried about the impact of that on my son. But I don't know how to deal with that, because it has become quite chronic and the police don't seem to want to do anything about that. I have been reporting it for years. I have always been very open about it with social services and the police and have asked for help with it.

Hi thank you for your message , so in terms of the ongoing abuse he is still communicating with you?

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
he is telling services and the police that I have borderline personality disorder. But he is not the father of my son. He is my ex husband and father of my other children who are with him now

I understand. I recommend you get a a non-molestation order. This is a type of injunction that will prevent your ex from contacting you. The easiest way to obtain an injunction and for free is to contact the national centre for domestic violence here: 0808 2000 247. They will then help you get the injunction. I hope this helps, if you can please accept my answer and rate me 5 stars (in the top right of your screen) then Just Answer will credit me for helping you today.

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
It is very complicated. But my ex husband is more abusive than my ex partner. My ex husband has been telling the police and social services that I have borderline personality disorder. He hasn't been communicating with me directly for a few weeks now. But the children I have with my ex husband are living with him, because the police and social services didn't take my concerns seriously when i reported them and he managed to get through family courts to get custody of them. My ex husband is abusing my disabled child
Customer: replied 15 days ago.
But SS want to put my youngest child, who has nothing to do with my ex husband. on a CP. However my ex partner has also been abusive to me. Should I be getting an injunction against both of them?

well in terms of the psychological abuse you can get the non-molestation order. In terms of his reports to social services, you cannot prevent that just prove he is incorrect. In terms of his abuse of your child social services need to investigate that. If you want you can get injunctions against both your ex husband and your ex partner if they are continuing to abuse you either psychologically or physically. . I hope this helps, if you can please accept my answer and rate me 5 stars (in the top right of your screen) then Just Answer will credit me for helping you today.

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
I have tried to get an injunction against my ex husband in the family court before, but they wouldn't grant it to me. So its not like I havent tried.

I understand, did you do so with help though or on your own?

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
I have been to see a psychiatrist who has said that I don't have BPD and the only mental health problem I have is psychological harm caused by domestic abuse. I haven't seen the report yet, so I don't know how explicit it will be stated in there.
Customer: replied 15 days ago.
I did it with a lawyer and an IDVA from womensaid, but the judge didn't grant it. She seemed to think my ex husband was entitled to have these opinions about me.

I see but to be clear he is entitled to have opinions about you the issue is, is he saying these things to you? If not then you cannot get an injunction against him. . I hope this helps, if you can please accept my answer and rate me 5 stars (in the top right of your screen) then Just Answer will credit me for helping you today.

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
He is saying the things to me about it and he is telling doctors, social workers and the police that i have this diagnosis when i dont. It got so bad that the police even came to see me with the allegation that i had it. He is basically using this "diagnosis" to try and discredit me when i am trying to get help for my disabled child. He has been locking him in his bedroom every night and ignoring his sleep disturbances and then when I challenge it he tells me and services that my son doesnt have sleep disturbances and that I am not to be listened to because i have BPD. It is a pretty extreme form of psychological abuse, designed to conceal his abuse and neglect of my disabled child.

I understand but he is allowed to have this opinion and he is allowed to say it to social services and police there is nothing that can be done about that. Social services need to investigate the abuse. I hope this helps, if you can please accept my answer and rate me 5 stars (in the top right of your screen) then Just Answer will credit me for helping you today.

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
Ok and how will they investigate it? and what will they do about it, if it is proven?
Customer: replied 15 days ago.
It is extremely frightening that he is abusing my son and gaslighting me in the process. If that is what social services want to protect me and my other son from then that is fine, but I need them to be clear about this with me. I cannot be responsible for my ex husbands abuse and I cant be responsible for my ex partner going along with it either. I don't see how a CP will help me and my children. I am doing everything I can to keep safe. But the police and social care don't do anything. And now because they haven't done anything to help they want to put my son on a CP. It doesn't make sense to me...

They will likely talk to your son, people involved in his life such as school, the other parent and you. If proven then they may stop his access remove him from his care and place him with you. I hope this helps, if you can please accept my answer and rate me 5 stars (in the top right of your screen) then Just Answer will credit me for helping you today.

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
But my disabled child is non verbal, so he cant speak. He cant tell anyone of this abuse. Can you tell me what the difference between a non mol and an injunction is?

a non molestation order is an injunction. I hope this helps, if you can please accept my answer and rate me 5 stars (in the top right of your screen) then Just Answer will credit me for helping you today.

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
The problem with my disabled child is that I have been told that locking him in his bedroom and ignoring his sleep disturbances is a criminal matter. It has been reported to the police, but they aren't doing anything about it. So its just the son who is with me who is subject to the CP.
Customer: replied 15 days ago.
what is crazy is that I have been reporting this to the police for years and years, but they haven't done anything to protect us so far. I feel like I am being victim blamed, even though I have been reporting it for a long time and doing what I can to keep myself and my youngest child safe. The fact that they want to put my youngest on a CP as a consequence of the domestic abuse I have endured, must be taken seriously now?

Yes exactly. I hope this helps, if you can please accept my answer and rate me 5 stars (in the top right of your screen) then Just Answer will credit me for helping you today.

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
However there seemed to be some criticism of me when I spoke yesterday about it to the Social Worker. She said that I need to concentrate on the domestic abuse of myself and not the abuse of my disabled child. I don't understand this. I have a duty to protect my disabled child who is being abused, as well as myself and my youngest child. My disabled child should be on a child protection plan as well, but no one is saying they will be doing that, which is madness. He is the one who is being locked in his bedroom every night and having his medical needs ignored and I am begging professionals to stop ignoring it.

I understand, you should appoint a solicitor to represent you. If you want to find a solicitor to assist with this process you can find a solicitor using the Law Society find a solicitor search option here: https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk. You can search by town or postcode to find one near you, as well as area of law in this case family law. I hope this helps, if you can please accept my answer and rate me 5 stars (in the top right of your screen) then Just Answer will credit me for helping you today.

Customer: replied 15 days ago.
what kind of solicitor do I need?

A family law solicitor, one that deals in public children law. Can you please rate me 5 stars in the top right of your screen? We can keep talking but it is the only way I get paid.

Jeremy Aldermartin and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you