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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35787
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I am a LIP but am being threatened and harassed by my

Customer Question

Hello. I am a LIP but am being threatened and harassed by my abusive ex husband’s solicitor
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: Yes. I put in a C100 and C1. We had a FHDR however I only received the case summary late the day before. It was then a week before I saw what they had written in the court order and by that time it had been sealed by the judge. I was not allowed any input into it. I was no given a chance to speak in the hearing only to be told that what I was seeking was unlikely and was I prepared to settle with contact being restarted again. My ex has breached the order and stopped contact for 14 weeks this year. Things were also put in the order that if I broke any of my exes rules I would only be able to see my children in a contact centre. My historical mental health issues are being weaponised against me and now, because I couldn’t get my statement in on time his solicitor tried to get my case thrown out and an S91. I said that she needed to make a formal application to the court which they agreed with so I now have another hearing on the 6 October. It has been going on since 2016 and my ex has been very abusive
JA: Have you talked to a lawyer about this yet?
Customer: Not really because my ex has put an interest into the properties I own I cannot afford one. I have had lawyers up until now but it is very clear that my exes solicitor is taking advantage
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: there is so much I don’t know where to start
Submitted: 10 days ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 10 days ago.

My name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you. I am reviewing your question now, and will respond further within a few minutes

Expert:  Clare replied 10 days ago.

What have you actually applied for

Customer: replied 10 days ago.
My ex husband currently has residency. I was spectacularly set up. It is a long story where I have suffered with both my physical health. Anyway my ex started this whole journey being very policing and punitive and in the space of just over a year reported me to child services over thirteen times. We went to court in September 2018 where my ex weaponised my mental and physical health but due to my having to move house overnight wasn’t reinstated at that time. My overnight contact had been stopped after a cry for help/ suicide ideation in new year of 2017/2018. My ex has consistently abused me through everything but mostly over the last few years by belittling me and being very punitive in his stance. Since the beginning of the year he has stopped contact in direct breach of the 2018 court order. He has done this with the support of his solicitor. Anyway in a nutshell the children are suffering and want to be with me more but due to my ex registering an interest on my only assets (3 flats in Basingstoke) and the duration of these proceedings I have lost everything and am now having to be a LIP against his team of lawyers who are now I feel taking advantage of the fact that I’m a LIP.
Customer: replied 10 days ago.
The court order was again threatening. I didn’t have the ability to view it before the judge sealed it and now, because I didn’t have a time to get my witness statement in she is trying to get the case thrown out and issue a S91 against me
Customer: replied 10 days ago.
basically I’ve entered a C100 and C1.
Customer: replied 10 days ago.
To try and reinstate overnight contact and increase my contact from three to four days
Expert:  Clare replied 9 days ago.

How old are the children and what time do they currently spend with you?

What was the problem with preparing your statement?

Customer: replied 9 days ago.
I have an eight year old son and a six year old daughter. The current order states that I have the children on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday from 9.30 to 6.30 unless they are at school. I agree that it is perhaps a grey area but my ex prevented me From having them during the daytime in lockdown. This meant that I was not able to take part in any of the home school learning. I received the final order on 21 August 2020, one week after the FHDR. I believe that I wish to change parts of this order however by the time I had gone backwards and forwards with my exes solicitor it was the 24th and I wasn’t able to get in by the deadline of the 28th of August. I currently have a solicitor who is dealing with my financial case but has told me that he is not happy he is not prepared to defer my fees for another children’s case. He has however, given me the hope of help with the statement. This was initially a 10 day extension however I only managed to speak to him yesterday when he told me that the statement was far too short. He only gave me five minutes and is now telling me that he can’t look at it again until Monday and even then he can’t advise me properly as he’s not acting for me.
Expert:  Clare replied 9 days ago.

What is the statement meant to deal with?

Customer: replied 9 days ago.
Well they have asked me to Treatment I have undertakenwhat’s up with you I want to taken since September 2018 respect of my mental health; what orders I am making and why and my position on whether an S91 (14) order should be made
Expert:  Clare replied 9 days ago.

And what parts of the Order do you wish to change?

Expert:  Clare replied 6 days ago.

I am sorry that you have not been able to reply but I will try and give an overview

It is true to say that some solicitors do indeed bully litigants in person which is reprehensible but a fact.

It is not unusual where only one party is represented for the lawyer to draft the order - but they should have sent a copy to you at the same time as sending it to the court

You should write to the court explaining the errors in the order and the time when you received them

It is better to file what you have as if you leave it much later there is a good chance that hey will be successful in their applications against you.

Try and ensure that you have a chronology ready which you can use as a crib sheet for what happened when

Please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 6 days ago.
Thank you so much. I’m so sorry but I have been manic trying to get this witness statement in which to be honest I am finding quite triggering. I am hoping to have my overnights reinstated and an additional contact day granted. I am hoping that if my abusive ex husband does not have primary residency that his willingness to undermine me, control what I do with the children, and consistently take a punitive and policing stance against me will stop. Throughout our marriage he was controlling and abusive and this has only got worse since to the extent that he raped me in 2017 and keeps getting away with it all as well as damaging the children
Expert:  Clare replied 6 days ago.

You may have to try and play a longer game so that it is easier to fight him without the triggers being tripped.

Aim to get the day contact back and ask for a review in the new year

Customer: replied 5 days ago.
I have day contact back at the moment. His solicitor is now bullying me and trying to push me away from it. Thankfully I have, for the most part, become much stronger though and basically refuse to back down
Expert:  Clare replied 5 days ago.

Well done

Work it up slowly - the court will see that as reasonable

Customer: replied 5 days ago.
Thank you so so very much. That is something I’ve got in my proposals