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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35954
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My wife is not giving equal access to my son

Customer Question

My wife is not giving equal access to my son
Submitted: 14 days ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

My name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you I am reviewing your question now, and will respond further within a few minutes

Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

How old is your son and when did you and his mother separate?

What time has your son spent with you since the separation

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Hi ,we separated about 3 weeks ago and currently I see him on my wife's terms on a Wednesday evening for 3 hours and on a Friday evening for 3 hours ,then have him for Friday night till Sunday evening every other weekend ,but we are supposed to be sharing access
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
He's had one weekend with me and I've seen him Wednesday and Friday evenings since we separated
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

How old is your son?

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
He's 6 years old
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

How close to the school do you live?

What are your hours of work?

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Im moving into a property about a mile or so from the school where ihe goes too ,I'm self employed and can get him to school in the morning he may have to go to breakfast c
And after school club .
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

Does he have to go to these clubs at the moment?

Where are you staying at the moment?

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
I'm currently staying with my brother and his family we have our own room and use of the whole house ,he doesn't go to these clubs at the moment but he has been to them before and enjoyed them he said
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

But if he stays with his mother on school nights he will not need them?

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Not all the the time no. She said earlier that my son wanted me to take him to school at least one day a week ,she agreed to this but that's only one night in the week and every other weekend ,
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

What pattern are you suggesting?

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Considering ive been with my son nearly every day since he was born it's only fair he has regular time with me .can you tell me what is fair for my son my wife and for me then please
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

You both have parental responisbility for your son and he has a right to a close relationship with both of you

However you are no longer one family unit which means that the arrangements will of necessity change.

Every child and every family is different so there is no one size fits all answer to ocntact arrangements.

Generally the ocurt likes to ensure that both parents have weekends with their child - so alternate weekends are the most usual - if you can adjust your working hours then from school on a Froday to school on a Monday will work - but only if you willnot need Breakfast club (unless your ex will also need it in which case that is fine)

One or two evenings in a week is also usual - or a night if you can avoid the breakfast club issue.

Assuming you can have the time off then half of the school holidays is also reasonable.

There is a lot of information about Parenting Plans on the CAFCASS website.

If you cannot reach agreement - using Family mediation if necessary then you can apply to the court for an ordersetting out the time he spends with each of you

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Do you know if I'm entitled to legal aid if it goes to court and also she's asked me for his maintenance but when I move into the property I will have only £10 a week left after paying all bills rent debts etc ,
Expert:  Clare replied 13 days ago.

I am afraid that there is no legal aid in such cases unless you can prove you are a victim of domestic violence

I am afraid that you are liable for child maintenance - you can work out how much you will have to pay here

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Can I not just buy him what he needs as I'm sure my wife will not spend all I give her on our son ,also how do I pay her money if it leaves me with no money for my own living costs
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Can I ask you why it matters if he goes to breakfast club as millions of parents up and down the land do that
Expert:  Clare replied 12 days ago.

I am afraid that the regulations are clear - if your ex has the child more nights a year than you do then you will have to play child maintenance - and =money spent on the child does not count.

There is nothing at all wrong with Breakfast clubs - but if the court has the option of the child getting up early and going to breakfast club or staying home until it is time for school then they will go with the second option as being better for the child - and it is the child who is centre of the issue