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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35933
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Evening all, So. I'll try and keep this brief. I have a son

Customer Question

Evening all,So. I'll try and keep this brief. I have a son who is 15 and in fulltime education. Until recently my ex and I used to share custody as I worked offshore. He'd stay with her for 3 months then me 3 months etc...To put it ex is a nasty piece of work. My son has ended up with serious anxiety issues which he is now thankfully getting through. I have quit my job and he is now living with me fulltime.Here's the thing. Over the years my ex has paid very little in the way of clothes or anything else. I have paid her every month and she has just pocketed the cash. As my son didn't want to be at home (she made life very difficult for him) he would always be out from around 9AM until 9PM. Staying out most night when I was away. She'd give him no money. In January 2019 I said I'd open him a bank account and start giving him pocket money. It became quickly apparant that his mother was giving him nothing at all so I stopped payments to her and sent what he needed. It's ended up that, even when I'm away and he's supposedly living with his mother I have been paying for everything directly into his account. Food, clothing...the lot. Several hundred pounds a month basically. If I didn't he wouldn't eat.Around august last year, I was travelling down to grab my son for a few months when I got a call from the ex's mother...could I stop by on my way. I was duly informed that my ex was shipping my son off to boarding school (her mother was paying the fees) and I needed to get him there. My son had crippling anxiety at the time and I spent several months trying to get him settled to no avail. My son and I spent months going through the mental health system trying to get his head right and I luckily managed to get him some medication before I left for work in January. I had to take several months off work without pay during this time and manage to burn through thousands of pounds in savings in extra accomodation (near the school), private psychiatrists, school uniforms...Again. My ex contributed nothing. Although she did purchase a £250K house at the same time so that's nice.So, here's my questions...1. Is it possible for me to go after her for non payment of child maintenance since January last year?
2. What is my best course of action for getting money off her each month moving forward?
3. I was told by a solicitor that the situation regarding the boarding school could be classed as "special circumstances" and I could try and get a portion of my costs back? Is this the case?Apologies for the long post people and any advice will be greatly received!
Submitted: 6 days ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 6 days ago.

My name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you I am reviewing your question now, and will respond further within a few minutes

Expert:  Clare replied 6 days ago.

Just for clarity - was there ever a CMS assessment?

Who currently has the care of your son?

Customer: replied 6 days ago.
No. There was never a CMS assessment. I’ve always just paid his mother monthly plus paid for the majority of clothing etc over the years. My son now luges with me full time. Never stays with his mother.
Expert:  Clare replied 6 days ago.

In order to obtain child maintenance you need to make an applictaion to the Child Maintenance Service which can be done online

I am afraid that you cannot backdate the application so you will not be able to claim anything for her non payment since January.

I am not sure who you think you could recover the extra costs from - I am afraid it is unlikely that you could recover them from your ex

I am sorry that the news is not better - please ask if you need further details