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SASH_Law, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 3464
Experience:  LLB (Hons)
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Im looking for family law advice, hastings uk, none, im

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hi im looking for family law advice
JA: Where are you? It matters because laws vary by location.
Customer: hastings uk
JA: What steps have you taken so far?
Customer: none
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: im after preliminary advice
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call.
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
About a month ago I broke up with my girlfriend of nearly three years. It was't working for various reasons largely around our clash of characters. We would argue far too much and it was not making either of us happy. Two days later she tells me that she is pregnant. This came as a shock so I decided to stick around whilst we decide what to do. After a couple of weeks deliberation it was decided mutually that we would keep it. My initial backing of this decision was largely down to her being very sure that she wanted to keep it. I felt that fundamentally it is her final decision as abortion clinics do not allow the father in, so her time with the preliminary counsellor would ultimately make it a very intimate decision for her. I told her i would be there for the child if she wanted to keep it, and i wouldn't hold it against her if she decided to abort it. But I also said that I was concerned for its life as we were not a strong partnership, and have an argumentative relationship. She then decides to keep it which I have grown to support out of necessity if anything. I have also warmed to the idea of being a Dad, and think I could be a very good one regardless of whether we stay together. However, since this agreement I found her increasingly concerned about money, what we are saving, and where that money should go. She has been pressuring me to save money into her personal account, which I have been urging her to consider a shared account for our shared savings. She has been enraged by this idea, which I am shocked by as it is clearly fair and mutual. I feel like I am consequently losing trust of her intensions, and feel at this early stage (she is just 15 weeks pregnant) I want to seek discrete legal advice about the legal powers she may have over me both now and in the future post birth. I am a naturally supportive and fair person, but I fear she is not, and I fear what she is capable of. Many thanks

Hi, I'm Lea

I am sorry to hear of your dilemma. Are you still together at this stage? Are you planning on living together or already doing so?

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Customer: replied 13 days ago.
we are still renting together currently
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
we had been planning to buy a place together before we broke up, prior to the news of the pregnancy
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
i was then going to move out until i heard the news, since then I have stayed whilst we've deliberated over what to do. i am now very unsure what is best, ***** ***** am becoming increasingly distrusting of her intensions
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
sadly, this of course must be a a common dilemma. but i am inexperienced and lack the legal knowledge
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
thank you for replying to me :)

Firstly, you don't have to be together to have a child together. So don't feel you have to stay on that basis if things are not working out. If you do stay, then keep your finances separate - don't join your savings at all.

Secondly, as a cohabiting couple, she does not have any additional rights in relation to you or your income - or savings - and it is probably imminently sensible not to buy a property together at this stage. As I said above, keep your finances separate.

Thirdly, you will be liable for child maintenance for the child, but you will not be obligated to financially look after her.

Lastly, if you stay in the relationship, don't get married...marriage confers a lot more benefits if the relationship ends.

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
that great to know sasha, not that im looking to avoid responsibility! thank you

No, it didn't sound like you were trying to avoid responsibility. This is about protecting yourself financially - you can look after your child without having to share your savings with her.

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
its just really helpful to now what the basic statutory liabilities are to know what she is able to pull on me

Yes, of course. It's always best to be prepared.

SASH_Law and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
i may be being overly cautious and potentially paranoid in contacting you, but it's a relief to know. knowledge is power, or rather knowledge is liberating. i think i can think more clearly and fairly now and with less anxiety. thank you for replying, I was on hold with citizens advise for an hour earlier this morning with no call back

Caution is a good thing.

You can still enjoy the relationship and the coming baby...and with any luck everything will work out perfectly.

Congratulations by the way on becoming a dad!

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
thank you sasha!
Customer: replied 13 days ago.
i mean sash, eek

It's Lea actually - :0)

You're very welcome.

All the best to you.

Customer: replied 13 days ago.
all the best to you too :)

Thank you for using Just Answer.