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SASH_Law, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 4339
Experience:  LLB (Hons)
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SASH_LAW only Our arrangement is what he pushed for except

Customer Question

CustomeronlyOur arrangement is what he pushed for except for one day a fortnight. Since knowing I'm not coping with school runs, he tried to get me to do one a week for him because it was inconvenient. I reiterated that I couldn't do more than I already was but but would swap days. He suggested a swap that meant I lost the only aspect of the arrangement I like and would make the set up exactly what he wanted. He got angry with me when I said no and that I had not even come up with anything - I was offering to help him, I don't need it changed. I objected to this one particular day being "his" and pointed out that it was illogical at the time. The judge basically said that was for my ex to worry about, which was valid except I knew he would create issues later, which is what he's done, and that it would put pressure on me. For now, he has stuck to it (after a big fall out) and I believe this is due to the timing of the mediation letter and that this will come up again. Even if it doesn't, I feel this speaks to his lack of foresight, unreliability, insensitivity to my circumstances and that he is happy to push to have things his way in court, with no intention to honour things outside of it. Just that he generally has to have everything his way. I want to touch on this, however lightly, somewhere in my application. That I maintain I cannot do more than I am with the set up being as it is, but that I would have more options and be able to assist if he moved school. Also that it adds to my worries because the arrangement needs to work in the event of him being unreliable and at the moment, it can't. But am unsure of how to mention it. Would this be OK or too much for the application? "he's ignored subsequent efforts to talk and disregarded my situation by trying to make me do his Thursday school run as, predictably, it was not convenient for him. I am concerned that he has created an issue out of an aspect of the agreement he himself insisted on, as he has with every arrangement made in the last 7 years, and believe this highlights the need for this to be a viable option in the event of his unreliability, which it presently is not" I'm also sort of hoping the application itself could be a kick up the bum for him in all honesty!
Submitted: 12 days ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 12 days ago.

Hi, I’m Lea and I will be assisting you with your query today.

Thank you for requesting me - I will just read through your query.

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Expert:  SASH_Law replied 12 days ago.

I think it's too much for the application. I think stating that there are organisation issues due to your needs that cannot be met with the current circumstances, and that you will expand on this in court.

The application is like a holding place - you put in sufficient details to state why you are making the application, and then wait for the court to process that application and give directions on what to do next. A lot of the first hearings are taking place without the parents present, where a judge reviews the paperwork and states what the parties need to do next, e.g. send in a witness statement with full details and evidence, or the first hearing goes ahead with parents and CAFCASS, who are notified of all applications to court and will do a safeguarding letter (after speaking to both parties).

There really isn't any need to overload the application with full details - the overview will be more than sufficient. Do make reference to the previous case number ***** as that file will be relevant to this new set of proceedings.

Customer: replied 12 days ago.
OK thank you, ***** ***** Cafcass would not really be involved this time as we've not long been through the motions with them already but will they speak to us again?
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 12 days ago.

CAFCASS are notified of all private law applications so are automatically involved initially - they may not remain involved after the safeguarding letter.