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Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 261
Experience:  Expert
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My son's dad was turning my son against me and manipulating,

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Hello, my son's dad was turning my son against me and manipulating, brainwashing to create an image about me to our son, when our son started to behave rude towards me affecting our relationship. Do I have the right to stop him from seeing our son till he stops what he does
JA: What steps have been taken? Have any papers been filed in family court?
Customer: He applied for court but he tries to switch blame
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county does he live in?
Customer: I haven't received anything yet, we both live in Bristol
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: Our relationship was toxic we broke up two years ago, can he use that against me

Good evening and thank you for your question. I'm Jeremy, a solicitor specialising in divorce, separation and children's matters. I'm sorry to hear that your son's dad has been alienating your son so I'd be happy to offer some guidance. Firstly, please could you confirm how old your son is? Secondly. does your son actually live with you at the moment? Thanks, J

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Hi Jeremy, thank you so much for coming back to me so fast. My son is turning 5 this Friday actually. He's lived me with me and I've been his main carer since birth. It all started when I asked his dad to buy him a bike for his bday because I couldn't afford due to all other expenses.
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Our past relationship was very bad and I think he wants to use it against me. He also called police yesterday to file staff against me but the police didn't have any worries and I've had so much stress because of his way of twisting staff

Hello again and thank you for the additional information. It sounds like you will struggle to trust your ex due to his actions and co-parenting is based on trust. I'm concerned that he's making this about him when he should be putting your son first. You could withdraw contact, however, my advice would be to warn him first. If he continues, you'd need to withdraw the contact but make an application to court for a Child Arrangments Order (a defined 'spend time with' order) shortly after. That way, you can't be criticised for just withdrawing the contact on a whim.

The courts have started taking alienation issues seriously over the past couple or few years. It's likely that the court would order CAFCASS (Children and Families Court Advisory Service) to prepare a report on your ex's behaviour and the likely effect it is having on you and your son. It's serious because it's compromising your son's mental welfare - your little boy has to live with you and your ex is making him actively dislike you. CAFCASS could make a number of recommendations from family therapy through to supervised/supported contact.

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Hi Jeremy, I understand, although I asked him why Antonio wasn't wanting to come home with me anymore, which got to this stage of my son not wanting to come home anymore as he was getting him to play GTA video games my son said and he also said he didn't want to come home because daddy doesn't like me and says he will get him a better mommy. I asked him why our son didn't want to come home and he said that I'm harrasing him, so I emailed him not to see our son until he stopped what he was doing. Then he said he will apply to court for order arrangements because I was abusing him. So he's switching blame on me and he's trying to use our past relationship against me to benefit him. What shall I do now?
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Our son misses him so I emailed him if he wants to feel free to see him. I am stuck between protecting my son and feeling sorry for the little boy, as I don't want to break his dad and his relationship
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
But his dad was very demanding as when he wanted to see Antonio, during the week when he goes to school and it isn't great, however, I was okay with it and said I could pick him no later than 6 and made him aware that I'll be watching for any signs in our son's behaviour and that I'll enrol him for play therapy as it's had very bad impact, so he's just came back saying that we'll go through court then

Well, it sounds like he's 'gaslighting' you by making you feel like you're the one to blame. As hard as it is, you have to put your sons' welfare first. If you genuinely believe that your ex's influence upon your son is malign and affecting his welfare, you need to remove that welfare concern, even if it's temporary. Keep a record of all emails/correspondence you've sent to your ex. If he makes an application, you do have the option of filing a C1A application where you can detail the harm he has caused his son through the parental alienation.

This is a C1A here:

It is uncommon to file a C1A separately as a respondent in Children Act proceedings after receiving the applicant's application form, however, it is not unheard of. You could certainly detail all of your welfare concerns on the C1A.

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Wow thank you so much. I feel like somebody is finally understanding me and seeing the truth. Thank you ever so much. Is there anywhere I could contact you for further support and could I book your service for the future please when the court hearing comes through and help to file a case?

Yes, please feel free to contact me on here. You can start a new question thread by asking for JeremyT1020. I'm on here most days although I do work full-time as a partner in a law firm so I can be pretty busy during the day. I'm genuinely glad to have helped.

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Amazing, thank you ever so much. I'll definitely be asking for yourself next time. Hope you have a good evening

And you! Good luck and speak soon.

JeremyT1020 and 2 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Thanks a lot.