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Good evening and thank you for your question. I'm Jeremy, a solicitor specialising in divorce, separation and children's matters. I'm sorry to hear that your son's dad has been alienating your son so I'd be happy to offer some guidance. Firstly, please could you confirm how old your son is? Secondly. does your son actually live with you at the moment? Thanks, J
Hello again and thank you for the additional information. It sounds like you will struggle to trust your ex due to his actions and co-parenting is based on trust. I'm concerned that he's making this about him when he should be putting your son first. You could withdraw contact, however, my advice would be to warn him first. If he continues, you'd need to withdraw the contact but make an application to court for a Child Arrangments Order (a defined 'spend time with' order) shortly after. That way, you can't be criticised for just withdrawing the contact on a whim.
The courts have started taking alienation issues seriously over the past couple or few years. It's likely that the court would order CAFCASS (Children and Families Court Advisory Service) to prepare a report on your ex's behaviour and the likely effect it is having on you and your son. It's serious because it's compromising your son's mental welfare - your little boy has to live with you and your ex is making him actively dislike you. CAFCASS could make a number of recommendations from family therapy through to supervised/supported contact.
Well, it sounds like he's 'gaslighting' you by making you feel like you're the one to blame. As hard as it is, you have to put your sons' welfare first. If you genuinely believe that your ex's influence upon your son is malign and affecting his welfare, you need to remove that welfare concern, even if it's temporary. Keep a record of all emails/correspondence you've sent to your ex. If he makes an application, you do have the option of filing a C1A application where you can detail the harm he has caused his son through the parental alienation.
This is a C1A here: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/958025/c1a-eng.pdf.
It is uncommon to file a C1A separately as a respondent in Children Act proceedings after receiving the applicant's application form, however, it is not unheard of. You could certainly detail all of your welfare concerns on the C1A.
Yes, please feel free to contact me on here. You can start a new question thread by asking for JeremyT1020. I'm on here most days although I do work full-time as a partner in a law firm so I can be pretty busy during the day. I'm genuinely glad to have helped.
And you! Good luck and speak soon.