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plclegal, Barrister
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 7868
Experience:  Barrister at law
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My Ex is in breach of existing CAO which required that he

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My Ex is in breach of existing CAO which required that he not seek to make contact arrangements direct with Child. He sent the Child the other week, his contact details (address, email, phone) by post; which can only be intended to converse direct, and make arrangements direct.
I’m going to ignore this Breach because I have a Hearing soon to vary the Order.Can you suggest how I could (loosely) word an Order that Dad does not send letters and emails?
We have two hours telephone contact weekly, and no time for the added task of sending something back in the post. Nor is my child looking to do so.I wanted to keep it open for Ex to send what he likes (no obligation on child to return) but Ex is a very demanding and pushy person, always pesters for a reply.
I don’t see any other way but a total block.Can you see a way to handle this?Sorry to follow so quickly on the Bank holiday but my work is constant at the moment...

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It seems that the wording needs to reinforce the fact that Dad can make contact indirectly, of course, by letter/ email, but that this is not to discuss contact arrangements or encourage the child to make their own arrangements via these methods. Doing so would be in breach of the order and risk contact being suspended - perhaps this sort of wording in the recitals may assist in clarifying the issue.

I hope that this helps?

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Customer: replied 8 days ago.
Grateful for mitigations outlined, which chimes with what Children's Services told me.
Difficulty I have, is ANY (non phone call) contact from Dad, results in pestering, weekly, for replies which is difficult for my kid who doesn't want to disappoint dad, but has nothing to write! And no time.
An email inbound means easy to hit the reply button, and we are off into difficult territory because Dad has a history of 'bad mouthing' me to the Child, so contact has (effectively) been supervised these years (by me).I suppose nothing lost in asking the Court for an Order no contact beyond skype/telecoms because of the history of abuse of me, and history of pestering.
I guess it may end up with 1-way comms from Dad with your suggested wording not to discuss contact (or malign others?)Do you see any other way to pitch this?

The wording could also state that the child is free to reply or not, that it is their choice and that dad is not necessarily to expect a reply from indirect contact outside of anything in the court order.

Customer: replied 8 days ago.
I'll add that.
Ex may hold me 'in breach of CAO' if I don't share the Child's school email address. Another reason why I need to be quite stark on the disadvantages of 'indirect' contact.
Scope for family disharmony and acrimony is so big from this, I have to tell the Court my concerns. Dad keeps construing (or alleging) the Child wants to write, which is baloney (quite frankly). Arguments will just run on and on.
I should add that.


I would suggest that the school email address is not for personal contact - it is used for the school to communicate with him. He can have a separate email address for corresponding with his dad.

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Thank you again for visiting JustAnswer, please do let me know if you have any additional questions in the future. I am also happy to answer any new questions on other topics that you may have, you can request me by putting “for PLCLEGAL” at the start of the new thread. Best wishes, Peter