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SASH_Law
SASH_Law, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 4509
Experience:  LLB (Hons)
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I have a question about my daughters dad who isnt on the

Customer Question

Hi I have a question about my daughters dad who isnt on the birth certificate but has a dna test, and which he is saying he is going take me court for access but I've never stopped him seeing his daughter it's just the fact he wasnt in her life for the first 12months and now only just come in her life since march but now hasnt seen her for over 5 weeks and he wants her over night but I've said no as he works 6days a week and he lives in london and I live in stoke. So I just need some advice on this please
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: No not filled nothing in
JA: Family Court normally sits in a local County and Magistrates' Court. Do you know the location of the court? If not, what county do you live in?
Customer: No dont know what court but I think he will go court in london but my court is Hanley crown in stoke-on-trent
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: No that's everything
Submitted: 19 days ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

Hi, I’m Lea and I will be assisting you with your query today.

I am very sorry to hear about your dilemma, but will do my best to provide you with advice and guidance on what to do next. As he does not have PR (not named on her birth certificate), the only way he can get contact is to go to court to firstly get a declaration of parentage, and secondly for a child arrangements order to spend time with the child. He doesn't have to get a declaration of parentage unless he would like to have his name added to the birth certificate.

Until or unless he applies to court, you are the only person with PR and therefore you get to decide who spends time with your child, when and how. So if you believe the contact should take place, then you can go ahead and arrange that, but if you think it shouldn't, then you don't have to arrange anything. You certainly do not have to agree to overnight visits at this stage - it is unlikely that the court would grant that at this stage anyway given he doesn't know the child and hasn't established a relationship with her yet.

It will take at least six months to get an order from court, maybe longer if you remain in dispute about the type of contact he should have.

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Customer: replied 19 days ago.
He said that he is going to go court himself on monday and get an order himself for him 2 have access, which I've never stopped him seeing the child but the only reason why I am now thou is that he has stopped paying me maintenance, should he pay me my maintenance once a week or spend it out everyday?
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

He can apply to court, but he is supposed to try mediation with you first. So if he doesn't do mediation, you should inform the court at the first hearing that you do not think an order is necessary as you were not preventing contact and would like to try mediation.

You can claim maintenance via the CMS. https://childmaintenanceservice.direct.gov.uk/onlinerevive/public/landing-screen

Customer: replied 19 days ago.
He has refused to try medication so because he wont do that what does that mean now then?
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

He is obligated to attend at the very least an initial mediation session as he needs a mediator to sign his application form to court.

As I said above, if he applies to court, tell the court you want to do mediation.

Customer: replied 19 days ago.
But what happens now when he wont agree to the medication ?
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

He said he's going to court - so court happens.

Customer: replied 19 days ago.
But can he get a court order himself for access without me going to court?
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

No.

Customer: replied 19 days ago.
Thank you, that's all I wanted to know as he was saying that he could get an order off a judge without me being there to get access and have the baby over night
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

Goodness no, he cannot do that at all. The court would want to hear from you, the only person with any legal responsibility for the child, before making any kind of order.

Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

He sounds controlling - if this does go to court, you may wish to raise these issues to the court so the court can investigate them.

Customer: replied 19 days ago.
Thank you very much for that advice as he seems to think he could get an order without me which I did tell him he couldnt. And if he stops paying me maintenance am I in my rights 2 stop him seeing the child if he doesn't pay for her?
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

Don't mix up child maintenance with contact - the courts don't, they are two entirely separate things. If he stops paying, get it through the CMS.

Don't stop contact on that basis - it's not pay per view. He should not be stopping payment, and you should not be stopping contact, on the basis of money.

Customer: replied 19 days ago.
Ok so I let him have contact even thou he is stopping my money, and do i have 2 agree to go to court if he takes me?
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

You will have to go to court - the court will order you to attend.

It's up to you whether you let him see the child - I already covered that above.

Customer: replied 19 days ago.
Ok thank you for your advice it was really helpful
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

You're very welcome.

Remember, until a court makes an order giving him contact, or giving him PR, you are the only person in charge.

Customer: replied 19 days ago.
if I want to stop him having contact all together I can until it goes to court? And if it goes to court wont he have to take me to*****hearings, as 1 for PR, and then another 1 for access to my daughter? Or will it all be done in 1 court hearing?
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

Yes.

No, it'll all be dealt with by one set of proceedings.

Customer: replied 19 days ago.
Ok thank you very much for the advice I feel so much better now
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 19 days ago.

All the best.