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Hi, I’m Lea and I will be assisting you with your query today.
Your 20 year olds are not children anymore so will not factor into the usual plan of 'housing the kids', so your spouse would never be able to raise that as a reason in court to get more funds from the house. If you therefore agree to split the proceeds 50/50 and lend him a sum, that will be down to you - you could get it recorded in the consent order and detail how and when it will be repaid, so that it is enforceable. And you could insist that the order includes you having a charge over his new property. However, his mortgage company are likely to want to veto that as it means the mortgage is not affordable for him.
As you can see, it's a little more complex than simply lending him the money - the mortgagee will want you to declare it's a gift if it is not to affect his loan capacity.
You deserve a clean break and him claiming to house the adult children isn't really a valid argument as they will surely leave home imminently.
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It's entirely up to you if you want to loan him the money. I'd suggest a charge over his property, but as I said, the mortgagee will likely have an issue with that, but he'll need to check that with them.
Then a first charge to you will be the appropriate route.