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SASH_Law, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 4916
Experience:  LLB (Hons)
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I split with my husband 2 years ago, and we finally have our

Customer Question

Hi, I split with my husband 2 years ago, and we finally have our property sold (early stages). Our 20 year old children still live with him, so he needs to find a 3 bed property which is proving difficult with the funds available. He has asked if I will "lend" him 20k from my half of the proceeds of the sale to help with this as he is the one housing the kids. I have mixed feelings about this - if I do it will speed up the sale and we won't lose our buyers, but he won't really have a way of paying me back until his mother dies, and that relies on her not losing her home to care home costs (no reason to think she'll end up in one but she is 86). So, if I do lend it I will need a legal document, but I'm not sure what is a reasonable time to expect it to be repaid, and if he ends up with no money from his mother, then how can I get my money back from him?
JA: Where are you? It matters because laws vary by location.
Customer: UK
JA: What steps have you taken so far?
Customer: None
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: The mortgage is pretty much paid off (payments are about £3 a month!), and he's been living there for 2 years for free (rent/mortgage wise) whilst I've been paying rent / now contributing to a mortgage
Submitted: 14 days ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 14 days ago.

Hi, I’m Lea and I will be assisting you with your query today.

Your 20 year olds are not children anymore so will not factor into the usual plan of 'housing the kids', so your spouse would never be able to raise that as a reason in court to get more funds from the house. If you therefore agree to split the proceeds 50/50 and lend him a sum, that will be down to you - you could get it recorded in the consent order and detail how and when it will be repaid, so that it is enforceable. And you could insist that the order includes you having a charge over his new property. However, his mortgage company are likely to want to veto that as it means the mortgage is not affordable for him.

As you can see, it's a little more complex than simply lending him the money - the mortgagee will want you to declare it's a gift if it is not to affect his loan capacity.

You deserve a clean break and him claiming to house the adult children isn't really a valid argument as they will surely leave home imminently.

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Customer: replied 14 days ago.
Thank you, ***** ***** quite complex. He was the main carer for the twins from 9mths old, so didn't work outside the home. He then claimed carers allowance as my daughter is visually impaired, so worked limited hours which was very convenient for him (not so much for me!) and once we'd split he didn't want to get a full time job then as he risked his money being split with me. As it turned out our assets were pretty much equal (pensions etc), so there is no split, but his refusal to have more reliable work (zero hour contract) means he won't be able to get a mortgage and prefers to be mortgage free anyway. So whilst I appreciate our children aren't kids anymore, they do still need to live somewhere (daughter is at Uni half the year and son is unemployed)... the "charge over his new property" is interesting though.
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 14 days ago.

It's entirely up to you if you want to loan him the money. I'd suggest a charge over his property, but as I said, the mortgagee will likely have an issue with that, but he'll need to check that with them.

Customer: replied 14 days ago.
as I said, no mortgage will be involved, so there won't be an issue there... thanks for your help
Expert:  SASH_Law replied 14 days ago.

Then a first charge to you will be the appropriate route.