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I am sorry to hear about this. Until you get divorced and split your finances, and provide there is no legal restrictions on him to come close to you and/or the kids (such as a restraining order) he has the right to visit his home and leave his belongings.
That depends on how the assets are split.
If the home is his, you may be asked to leave.
Then when the home becomes yours part of your financial settlement then you can impose any restrictions you wish.
I hope this was helpful. Please feel free to get back with anything else. I will help to the extent I can.