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Stuart J
Stuart J, Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 27220
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
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The mother of my daughter is constantly verbally abuses me,

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The mother of my daughter is constantly verbally abuses me, belittle and condesending to a point where I cannot do anything right?
JA: Where are you? It matters because laws vary by location.
Customer: Doncaster
JA: What steps have you taken so far?
Customer: I have not taken any steps
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: We have just been to a family law court for a hearing?

Hello. My name is***** you for the question.

It is my pleasure to assist you today.

I have been in the legal profession, in High Street practice, for almost 30 years so I have wide range of experience in a great many different aspects of law.

Please bear with me and I will be online and off-line from time to time and therefore, may be delayed getting back to you.

Although I am shown as online, I may be dealing with other people, on the telephone, or typing.

Please be assured that you will receive an email once I have written a reply.

Just Answer is not a chat service, it’s an email reply board and therefore sometimes it will be minutes, sometimes it may be longer, even hours or overnight.

I apologise in advance if you suffer a delay.

Kind regards.

Why does she do this?

how old is your daughter and what is your contact with her?

Stuart J and 6 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 days ago.
Hello Stuart, hope your well. It seems that she has a issue with me. I believe its manifested from when our daughter was born, and I did not see her for some 2 years. A brief history, me and the mother had a 3 week affair, we parted. Some 12 months later, she contacted me to say I was the father of a baby girl. At the time I was in a unstable relationship and unemployed, given the shock from the news, I waited 18 months to sort myself out before contacting the mother, in that time, I had several DNA tests. CSA also contacted me for payments. Our daughter is 10 years old. Just recently we attended Family court to finalise drop off/pick up arrangements.
Customer: replied 6 days ago.
Hello Stuart, are you still available to chat on here?

Somebody else has already picked up the telephone call. Please let me know if you don’t get that call by the end of the day. It’s out of my control. Sorry.

This however I don’t know what it is that you want to know about this because you haven’t actually asked a question although the issue may revolve around the mother constantly verbally abusing you.

A person who believes that they are being bullied or who has been a victim of domestic violence or coercive controlling behaviour, can apply to court for a non-molestation order to prevent the other person coming within 100 m of them and an occupation order for the alleged perpetrator to move out of the house.

Here are the government webpages on exactly this subject.

A range of people can apply to the court: spouses, cohabitants and ex-cohabitants, people living in the same household (but not employees), tenants, lodgers, boarders, and certain relatives such as parents grandparents, in-laws, brothers sisters, and engaged couples. So basically people who are in a close relationship either physically or family or living together whether that’s in a relationship or just the same house.

There doesn't actually have to be physical violence per se because there can be coercive behaviour for example as you will read in this excellent article: D

If living arrangements are involved, it is very often impractical to live in the same house and it would very often be allied to an occupation order which defines or regulates the rights of occupation of property by the parties involved.

Many landlords will not change the name of the tenancy agreement for example without a Occupation Order.

It always helps if a report was made to the police recently because that is good evidence that this actually happened. The reason is that to report something to the police which hasn’t happened is a serious offence of wasting police time and/or attempting to pervert the course of justice which potentially carries a short jail sentence. So the civil court will take more notice if it has been reported to the police.

Having said that, the civil court will normally err on the side of caution and grant the order. However if the order is applied for based upon fabricated facts and that comes out in the wash, that is also perverting the course of justice and contempt of court and also potentially carries a jail sentence.

It is one of the few areas of law which legal aid is still available in certain circumstances so it is certainly worthwhile contacting the solicitor in the first instance.

As there is usually some urgency with these kind of applications, it can be done on an emergency basis and there is the facility on the form to do that. An applicant can also attach a Certificate of Urgency (a letter with that heading) explaining why this should be in court on an emergency basis, usually within a day or so.

These applications are usually made “ex parte” which means that the other side doesn’t get notice. What I mean by that is that they are not told “if you do this again we will make an application to court”.

The first they know about it is when the applicant gets the order and they are given the order.

The effect of the order is exactly the same as a restraining order to restraining order is something applied for by the police/CPS through the magistrates court (or exceptionally the Crown Court) whereas a non-molestation order is through the family/civil court.

Section 1 of the Domestic Violence, Crime & Victims Act 2004 May the breach of a non-molestation order a criminal offence. It’s serious stuff.

If you are applying for a non-molestation order you need to make sure that there is a provision, usually through a 3rd party, but there has to be some contact between the parties to arrange child pickup and drop-off because that doesn’t want to be a breach of the order.

Thank you for letting me assist you with your legal question. I am glad that I was able to help.

I am not certain whether that answers the question for you or not, but I am happy to answer any specific points arising from this.

It will be my pleasure to help you again either further with this or any future questions you have

Kind regards


Customer: replied 6 days ago.
Hello Stuart, We are not living together and never have been. The situation is, on every occasion, where our daughter is involved, if our daughter mentions to here mother that she is unhappy for any reason, the mother will verbally abuse me, these are for things like taking our daughter on cycle ride, walks, holiday, parents evening attendance, speaking to my family members and the list goes on. Her verbal abuse is one where she insults, belittle, patronise, relentless swearing and using bad language, in front of our daughter or anywhere
Customer: replied 6 days ago.
else. Now if this is absolutely acceptable and nothing can be done then I fully understand. however if your saying solicitors can not do or advise on any course of action then I find that very hard to believe.

I don’t know where you think I said that solicitors cannot do all advise of any cause of action. Quite the opposite. I give you a very lengthy reply about applying for a non-molestation order. That reply was posted 13 minutes ago. You need to read that in minute detail

Customer: replied 6 days ago.
Apologies Stuart, can I therefore look at taking out a non molestation order please?


Either DIY or see a local solicitor. I’m afraid that we are specifically not allowed to take instructions from here.

If the site were to be a source of potential clients, we would no longer be independent because we would have an interest in pursuing litigation. With no interest in pursuing litigation, we can be really objective with our view is to whether something has a good chance or a limited chance of success.

In any event, for logistical reasons you would be better using a local solicitor .

Stuart J and 6 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you