I am urgently needing some advice around child arrangements.

Hello and thank you for the question. I’ll do my best to assist you and provide an accurate and speedy response. Please bear with me as this is an email service and not live chat, replies will not be instant as a result. Also note that the discussions here are for general information purposes only and do not constitute a lawyer client relationship.

I’ll review this in the morning due to the late hour and come back to you as soon as I can with any points I need clarifying in order to be able to provide an answer.

Good morning.

Can you confirm that the six weeks he is seeking is effectively a share of school holiday time - spread across the year? What is his proposal for childcare if he does not have 6 weeks annual leave to take?

Is this the only contact he is seeking or are there other dates and times, such as the every other weekends that you mention?

What are the children's views on contact, given they are 12 and 14 respectively?

Are Cafcass recommending a joint lives with order or a lives with order to you and spend time with order to him?

Thanks for the detailed reply.

If Cafcass aren't recommending a shared lives order, then the court would have to be persuaded of the benefits by dad's barrister.

Your situation is a classic lives with mum and spends time with dad situation. However, there is some recent case law to back the principle that even where the time split is weighted towards one parent being the main 'home', that labelling it a joint lives order can still be appropriate.

It will depend on the judge, as if they are very traditional, it's likely to remain labelled as you have suggested - lives with you and spends time with dad.

If they are younger, more influenced by case law, then they may go with joint lives.

In reality, it doesn't actually matter too much what it is called, it is the arrangements themselves that you need to have sorted.

Asa Cafcass say "up to six weeks holiday per year" why not propose a gradual increase up to that point as a way of him getting the six weeks but not until next year or maybe the year after?

If you can agree the contact arrangements then what the order is called is only a matter for short arguments or written statements before the court rather than a full final hearing.

I hope that this is helpful? Can I assist further at all?

As above, the actual arrangements and what they are labelled are separate things - even if you have the majority of the care it could still be labelled joint lives with. That wouldn't change the reality of the day to day whereby your children spend the majority of their time with you.

I understand the concerns about holidays and the fact that your child has SEN, but I do feel the court may say that when dad has the children, it's up to him where they go on holiday or what he does with them. You withholding consent or insisting on your permission for him to holiday with the children could be a justification for the joint lives with order as normally a parent would not have veto over the other's holiday plans, even with a child with SEN.

I would suggest that agreeing to holidays and giving consent as a default rather than the exception could be a way to avoid the whole joint lives issue.

I understand your concerns, as above, but realistically my view is that the court won't accept that you have the right to dictate where he takes the children during holiday time. You both have equal rights as parents and this includes making decisions about what you do with the children when they are with you. I hope that this makes sense?