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Your visit visa or its expiry is irrelevant as you are a family member of an EU national exercising treaty rights. You should apply for an EEA registration card. Go to https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/apply-for-a-registration-certificate-or-residence-card-for-a-family-member-form-eea-fm
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What you should have applied for was EAA family permit and not a visit visa. Yes you can work as an EEA family member. Your husband and daughter are EU nationals and do not have to apply at the same time or at all.
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No you dont have to leave if you dont hear from the Home Office. You remain in the UK unril you hear from the Hone Office. You are a family member of an EU national who is working in the UK