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Ask Buachaill Your Own Question
Buachaill, Barrister
Category: Republic of Ireland Law
Satisfied Customers: 10955
Experience:  Barrister 17 years experience
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I gave birth to a daughter 6 years ago. The father (Indian)

Customer Question

I gave birth to a daughter 6 years ago. The father (Indian) left me the moment I told him I was pregnant. When she was born he refused to recognise her. We ended in court as his is a high networth individual and he pays maintenance through a court order. This after 2 years of emotional abuse. Each year, I need to chase him to comply with the agreement and I get sarcastic remarks. He now wants to meet her. He is remaried and has a daughter. Under his culture our daughter is a shame to his family but he still wants a relationship with her. We now live in Ireland, he in the Uk. She also has aspergers and has never known a father. Part of me is still dealing with the abuse he put me through and I find it hard to trust him especially as under his religion this situation is the worst that could have happened. He says if I ask for the increase in maintenance according he should see her as he pays. I said I am not asking anything more then what was agreed. He seems so angry at me still. I don't know what to do? What are my rights? She has such a settled life, I feel it wrong to unsettle it unless he can prove that his family does accept us and are genuine about a long term relationship. Am I wrong? should I stop accepting maintenance? Its like a threat. I am sorry to ask but I was put through hell and it broke me for a very long time. To the point I packed and moved to start a new life. Thanking you for your help.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Republic of Ireland Law
Expert:  Buachaill replied 1 year ago.
1. Dear Isabelle, I regret to say that a court will always grant access to a father to see his child. Particularly, where the father is paying maintenance. I realise this man might not be the best father, but unless you can make the case in court that significant psychological harm will be caused to your child by her seeing father, I regret to say a court will grant access. I appreciate the religious issue, where the father of your child views his child as a shame is a serious obstacle. However, in Ireland, I regret to say that a court will not refuse access should the father wish to seek a relationship with his child.
Expert:  Buachaill replied 1 year ago.
2. Be aware that courts in Ireland grant access even where the father is not paying maintenance regularly. So long as the father evinces an intention to maintain relations with his child, the court will always accede to the request. The courts do not sit in judgment upon a father's behaviour. So unless you can show significant harm, access will be granted.
Expert:  Buachaill replied 1 year ago.
3. Please Rate the answer as unless you RAte the Answer your expert will receive no payment for answering your Question.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The father lives in London. Would I be able to ask him to visit her in Ireland re: safety reasons? My other point which I can only guess is never regarded as anything relating to the child but I don't understand that a man can emotionally abuse and treat a women with disrespect when she is pregnant first pushing her into the abortion direction and to break down and for the first year of the baby's life emotionally traumatising her... for then 6 years later appear and demand to see the child he wanted aborted as if nothing happened and the court would say sure! . I find that so wrong and so unjust towards women not saying all women go through the same trauma.
Expert:  Buachaill replied 1 year ago.
4. Yes, you would be able to ask the father to visit her in Ireland and to have access in Ireland. Secondly, you should raise these issues if the case ever comes to court. However, they are unlikely to sway a judge.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
A law should be passed to apply for compensation for emotional trauma brought on by men who don't want to accept a pregnancy and who try and emotionally disrespect and bring women to want to have an abortion or a fine should be given for this type of behaviour. I guess it happens more in the UK then in Ireland though. I find it so wrong that this can happen and some just don't care about their action. In essence women are punished for getting pregnant by accident and a reason more and more women seek abortion. I know this as I went through it.
Expert:  Buachaill replied 1 year ago.
5. You should speak with your local TD or MP in relation to this. That is how you will get some law passed which will deal with this sort of wanton abuse. Ultimately, some legislative enactment needs to deal with it, as the law as it stands does not deal adequately with it.