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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 32086
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I am married, but have been separated now for 8 months. I am

Customer Question

I am married, but have been separated now for 8 months. I am now living with a woman, and want to start divorce proceedings.
I left my wife because I was in a very abusive relationship.
I have been in counseling for months to get to the stage where I feel confident I both know what I want, and have the courage to do it.

My wife does not know where I live nor indeed that I am now with someone else. I fear her emotional and verbal abuse if and when she finds out.

Is there any way to go through a divorce, including financial settlement, yet making sure that my privacy and safety are protected - and indeed that of my new lady who I love very dearly.

There has never been any police involvement. The only evidence of abuse I have is from my brother who rescued me, and from my counselor.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  James Mather replied 4 years ago.
Do you have a specific question?
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
I will do my best to assist you but need some further information first.
Are there any children involved?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

No children involved - they are both adults


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Is it likely that your ex will agree to a divorce?
What is the extent of the assets and debts?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Even if she wont agree to a divorce, I still will put in place a deed of separation. To do this I need to disclose full financial information.

She had agreed to take the house, contents, her personal possessions, some property interests in Spain and Madeira in settlement. I would keep my pensions, and pay her 40000 gbp for a motorhome - in 3 years time.


Her share would be approx. 500,000.


My pensions are 1,800,000 - I have no issue with her claiming more - she simply said she wanted the house etc,


There are no material debts. I have 2 loans equivalent to about 8,000


she has no debts


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Are you intending to instruct a solicitor to deal with the negotiations?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Yes, but the starting point is to confim agreement to the existing agreement. BUT I need it wrapping up so she has no further claims hence the deed of consent requirment

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
I am sorry I thought your concern was about protecting your privacy?
Have I misunderstood your question?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I merely answered your questions.

Then you seemed to open up my question to other people so I cancelled the request and got a refund.

I can't say I am impressed.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Sorry I was assuming that you were looking for advice on completing the divorce without releasing your housing details - is that not correct?