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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34886
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Hi, i live in the UK. Two children aged 14 and 10. I am Dutch

Customer Question

Hi, i live in the UK. Two children aged 14 and 10. I am Dutch and my wife is Spanish however we live here for over 4 years and are residents. My wife has a new partner who lives in Austria. She disappeared for 7 weeks and told me i had to take care of the children. I did. She suddenly came back and told me she wanted to take the children to Austria. I disagreed. Ever since she is in our maternal home. All she does is alienate the children. I am an obstacle for her and her bad feelings for me are rubbing of at the children. We will start mediation but i fear i can not turn the tide in terms of my childrens sentiment. When she was gone i filed a divorce petition. I wanted to formalise the reality which was full custody. As she returned things have changed. However in the interest of my children. Is there something i can do about this alienation process. How can i protect the well being of my children and have them live if relative peace? Is that legally possible?
I have always lived with the children and would not like to settle for less than shared custody. Am i at risk for being the father that my children will leave for Austria?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
I will do my best to assist you but I need some further information first.
Do the children wish to go to Austria?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.


A while ago they always expressed that they wanted to be with both of us. The recent week at after my wife has been constantly been talking to them i see that the sentiment is changing and they say they would like to go with their mother and new partner. They do not know that country nor the partner but my wife has created an environment of fear.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Please confirm that you are living in the same property at the moment and let me know how far the divorce proceedings gave reached?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

We live in the same property. A petition for divorce has been filled. The financial information has been exchanged. does that help?

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Your ex cannot take the children out of the country without either your agreement or an order from the court.
Unless there is an incident of violence there is no basis on which you can force your ex to leave the matrimonial home.
Within the mediation you can explain to your ex the damage that she is doing to the children by her behaviour - however in the mean time you should continue to treat the children as you have always done - making sure that they understand that that they are secure in your love and care
Whatever they are saying to their mother it is unlikely that they have changed their minds in the long term - and without your agreement the court woudl want to see evidence of your ex's long term plans including where they would live and go to school
You can read more about resisting such applications here
I hope that this is of assistance - if not please feel free to ask for further information