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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34888
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My husband has a whole secret life and identity on twitter.

Customer Question

My husband has a whole secret life and identity on twitter. He's had female contacts in the past but claims nothing has happened. As all his twitter stuff is public and linked to one of his named email accounts I'm worried that now the kids are older they could easily Google it and be shocked to the bone. I want to start divorce proceedings but have no.idea.where to begin nor the impact.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  James Mather replied 4 years ago.

Law Denning :

Hello, I am Law Denning and I am a practising solicitor in a High
Street practice. I have been an expert on this website in UK law since 2008.
During that time, as you appreciate, I have answered thousands of questions
from satisfied users on a variety of subjects.
Because we are all in practice with clients and court and other
users, I might not always respond in
minutes, particularly evenings and weekends. Please bear with me in that

It is my pleasure to try and assist you with this today. Please bear with me
while I gather some further information from you in order for me to be able to advise you fully.

How long have you been married?

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question
I will do my best to assist you but need some further information first in order to discuss the impact
How long have you actually lived together and how old are the children.
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
What other assets and debts are there and how much do you each earn?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
we have been married for nearly 14 years the children are 9 and 11. The house is ave market value 120 & about 80 outstanding. I earn app 1100 on reduced hours term time. He earns about the same but fluctuates due to actual rota hours given.
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Which of you is the main carer of the children?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
normally me. For the last week and next week I'm commuting. Thereafter I am working and commuting every Thu and Fri for 2 weeks. I am there in the mornings and I collect or meet the kids most afternoons. He does help with collection if I cannot do it and then collects me too. For 11 years he wored as a programmer away commuting every day so I always did school run. I pay the school club fees. Hot dinners and bus fayre. If we are spitting costs for uniform or whatever he tells me to take it out of his account ...he doesn't even know his logins and doesn't want the headache. Recently cause I cannot make it on time to a school play I asked him to step in and basically said no he's working. I've never missed they're plays and my daughter has asked with no success. He has no interest. My sister in law will attend until I get there. Its becoming painful for the kids cause his moods are up and down.
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
You clearly feel that the marriage is at an end - and from what you have said you certainly have grounds on which you can issue a Petition based upon your husband's Unreasonable Behaviour
The process is described here
So far as the financial issues are concerned the priority for the court is the safe and secure housing of the children until they are 18 and on that basis in the long term it is likely that you will remain in the property with the children until the youngest is 18 or you cohabit at which point the house will have to be sold or you will have to pay your ex his share of the equity (and release him from the mortgage if that has not already happened) His share is likely to be between 40% and 50%
Obviously if you could raise cash immediately then you could negotiate a better deal
Your ex will have to pay child maintenance for the children - 20% of his net income at most.
You should consider starting discussions on the finances using Family mediation ( to try and avoid a prolonged court battle
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
so you are advising the confront him mediation route?
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
It is not so much a matter of confrontation.
If you beleive that there is a chance of saving the marriage then you should try Relate.
However if your decision is made you should tell him and suggest that you use mediation to negotiate the settlement