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Nicola-mod, Moderator
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 21
Experience:  Moderator
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Hello I am having trouble agreeing child access to my daughter

Customer Question


I am having trouble agreeing child access to my daughter who lives with my soon to be ex wife. I am a police officer and work shifts and have 2 weekends off in five. My wife wants me to have access on these days but I can't because it will mean I will have no free weekends to myself and I need to get another job to pay spouse maintenance as I have been left with no home and having to care for my older son who is 18 who lives with me. Due to working shifts I can only work on these weekends as my shifts are all over the place
I am offering to have my daughter on Monday and Tuesday every other week but she is denying me saying she wants weekends. My daughter goes to school Monday to Saturday so it should make no difference if I have her weekdays or weekends. I have also offered a Wednesday and Thursday but she is still not agreeing. I am now suffering from depressions and on medication as she is denying any access. How will a court see it will they say I have to have her on my only two free weekends?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  James Mather replied 4 years ago.
Hello, I am Law Denning and I am a practising solicitor in a High
Street practice. I have been an expert on this website in UK law since 2008.
During that time, as you appreciate, I have answered thousands of questions
from satisfied users on a variety of subjects.
Because we are all in practice with clients and court and other
users, I might not always respond in
minutes, particularly evenings and weekends. Please bear with me in that

It is my pleasure to try and assist you with this today. Please bear with me
while I gather some further information from you in order for me to be able to advise you fully.

Have you applied for a contact order?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

No I have not applied for a contact order? I am trying to come to an agreement with my wife

Expert:  James Mather replied 4 years ago.

I am going to opt out of this for another expert to consider. Please do not reply or it comes back into my inbox. Another expert will pick it up at some stage. It is now open to all experts.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question
I shall do my best to help but I need some further information first
Are you actually allowed a second job?
Do you have one?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I am allowed a second job depending but its restricted being I work for the police. No at this present time I do not have a second job

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
You cannot be forced to see your daughter on days when you do not wish to do so - but it is up to you both as parents to agree what contact there should be - or the court will impose it
One option is to arrange for Family mediation with a mediator trained to work with young people so that your daughters voice can also be heard and a more flexible pattern of contact which reflects your work requirements can be agreed
If this is not successful then you will have to apply for a court order for the times that you are seeking
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need more information
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

How do you think the court will impose contact if I applied for a court order?

Is it likely the court will make me see my daughter on the only two weekends I am off. My wife is not reasonable we have tried mediation and she does not turn up.


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
The court will make an order - but they cannot force you to have the child on days when you do not wish to see her
Expert:  Nicola-mod replied 4 years ago.

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