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Ask Jo C. Your Own Question
Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 71050
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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Hello i met my girlfriend a year and a half ago when she was

Customer Question

Hello i met my girlfriend a year and a half ago when she was seeing her ex boyfriend and when she left him for me he started stalking us and making our lives hell even on night outs he would try gang up on me with his mates and also when he seen us anywhere he would throw his drink glass at us, He even spreaded i was a drug dealer and a rapist like he still wont stop even now and then 3 weeks ago i moved into my first house with my girlfriend and it was all going good and then today came i seen the ex viewing the property next door like its not fair now and i want to know do i have any rights or way to stop this like i will actually kill the lad because i cant rest without him ruining every day since a year and a half ago
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will try to help with this.

Has he taken any action against you directly? Or is this all what she has told you?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
hello he has even come out to a house i was in and brought a drug dealer with him like there was 3 of them all together. He follewed me in his car and has been making up lies and im going insane over it like on nights out he always ruins it by making sure we know he is there and then he tell her family that im a drug dealer and rapist he is way outta control and now he is viewing a house next door its like he is following us everywhere
Expert:  Jo C. replied 4 years ago.
How do you know he was a drug dealer?

Have you caused him any reason to want to follow you?

Usually crazed stalkers pursue their former partners rather than the new partner of a former partner?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

No he said i was and was making up lies about me i know his mate that he brought to see me was a local drug dealer and like he wont stop and its cause she left him for me

Expert:  Jo C. replied 4 years ago.
Yes, I'm glad you see that. Obviously this would not be happening to you if you were not in a relationship with her. Its not really your problem as you have done nothing to cause this.

In any event, if he is pursuing you then you can report this to the police as a harassment and they will give him a harassment warning to stop making contact.

In terms of what he is saying to other people, that is harder to deter unless you have very deep pockets and you are prepared to risk the cost of a defamation action. The truth is that even if you won he probably won't have the lawful funds to pay the award.

You can also get injunction orders with a power of arrest from the county court but try the police first as they are free.

On no account get involved in her disputes with him. You just worry about you. You are not responsible for her former failed relationships.

Can I clarify anything for you?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Yes what happens if he sets out to provoke me or attempts to attack me ? And can i do anything about him moving next door

Expert:  Jo C. replied 4 years ago.
Don't rise to it. You would have no defence if you did attack him on the basis of provocation.

If he attacks you then report it to the police.

There probably isn't anything you can do to stop him moving next door at this stage but you can regulate his conduct next door.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Ok thankyou i just wished this carry on would stop like moving next door like why would someone do that

Expert:  Jo C. replied 4 years ago.
Well, there could be lots of explanations. One is that he just likes to annoy.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

still not fair and in my opinion its sick to move next door like it really has annoyed me this situation

Expert:  Jo C. replied 4 years ago.
No, its not fair and its absolutely nothing of your creation. This is her ex ultimately.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Well sometimes i feel the only way to finish this is to make him feel unwanted

Expert:  Jo C. replied 4 years ago.
Yes, but thats really her problem. He is her ex. This is an issue for her to sort out. All thats happening now is that you are dealing with it for her and exposing yourself to provocation and the risk of action against you if you rise to it. Leave it to her and the police.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

he doesnt blame her and has made it clear his hate towards me and blames me for her leaving him like he actually has blamed me

Expert:  Jo C. replied 4 years ago.
Which is completely unreasonable.