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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35054
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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The mother of my children has stopped all contact with my 4

Customer Question

The mother of my children has stopped all contact with my 4 children changed all phone numbers and has moved 200 miles away. I have joint parental responabilty for 2 of my children only because of the law change in 2003. I have spoke to social services who have confirmed they have involvement with the family but will not give me any information other than my children are safe and well. I reported my children missing to the police who done a welfare check and reported back again my children are safe and well but no other information. I dont know where my children are and have no way of finding anything out. If i apply to court for a residencey order i need at some point to let the mother know and give her papers obviously i cant. Please help what can i do?
Desperate Father
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question
My name is Claire and I shall do my best to assist you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and when did you last see them?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Mason Green 12 years
Sydnee Green 10 years

Lacey Green 9 yaers

Harvey Green 6 years


Sydnee Green lived with me for 4 months from January 2013 to May 2013 at her mothers request as she could not cope she went for a sleep over at her mums on 26/05/13 never to return the last time i saw the other 3 children was the same day they had all slept at my house the previous evening and i took them all back to mums on the 26/05/13 i have had no contact since.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
What steps have you taken since May to trace them?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Text the mother on many occasions
Tried phoning all available phones both mother and childrens on many occasions

Hand delivered a birthday card for my daughter with a note inside giving all my phone numbers so maybe she or one of the other children could ring me

Spoke to the school on 11/09/13 that all 4 children attended and was informed that they received a phone call from Croydon Council that the children would not be returning to the school this is when alarm bells started to ring in my head

Spoke to the mothers mother on the 11/09/13 who will only confirm that thier has been a major incident and that they have moved 200 miles away

Spoke to social services on the 11/09/13 who have confirmed that they are involved with the family and that the mother has requested no information be given to the myself

Reported the children missing on the 11/09/13 to the police who issued a Welfare check order they phoned me back with in the hour and told me my children where safe and well but could not give me any other information

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
When were they last at the School they used to attend?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

23/07/13 the last day of the summer term they did not return for the start of this term 03/09/13 after the summer holidays

Also socail services said they had been involved with the family from 28/08/13 but on the last visit to the house nobody was there they would not confirm if they knew where they had gone

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
So you didn't see them between May and August but at that point they were still all in their old home.
What excuse was given for stopping contact then?
(and dont worry there is a way through this)
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I have had no contact with the children since May the mother phoned me on 06/07/13 on a withheld No to tell me i was old and ugly

I dont know when they left the home it is only after speaking to the school that i started to really worry and ask questions and was told that they had left the home

No reason was given for contact stopping this is not the first time the mother has stopped contact she has a drink and drug problem and would go through spats of keeping the children from me until either she wanted money or a baby sitter so she could go out so at first i was not alarmed i thought she was just playing another one of her games but they do not normaly last this long so i contacted the school for answers and that is when i realised somthing was seriously wrong


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Hi Paul
So whatever incident happened in August you were not involved!
There are two things you need to do.
The first is to issue an application to the court for a Defined Contact Order on a Form C100 available here
At the same time you apply for an Order that the DWP releases the mothers address TO THE COURT for service.
This is done on a Form C2 available here
You can issue in your local court - but the application will be transferred to a Court local to her for the actual hearing so you need to be willing to travel.
At the same time you should write to the Social Services department pointing out that you have Parental Responsibility for your younger children and that they are not entitled to exclude you from discussions regarding those children - and insisting that they meet with you to explain the current position
I hope that this is of assistance
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Can I hold back my CSA payments on the grounds that I do not know where my children are who they are living with dead or alive they may have been put in care or put with a foster family I have no information to confirm they are staying with the mother so why should i pay the mother to support them

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
I am afraid that you cannot do that and doing it woudl not assist your case at all