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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34900
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I split with my partner and we have two children togther he

Customer Question

I split with my partner and we have two children togther he hadn't seen the children for 3 months and took me to court for a hearing they granted him access at a family member of mine supervised every other weekend the first on read today and my child came bk very distressed and saying he wa asking them alot of questions and now my family relative has now said they do not want to play any part in it and is pulling out ?? What will happen now ?? Also with this court order in place what wod happen if my eldest child went to live with my ex partner now what would come of it In court
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.

Clare :


Clare :

Thank you for your question

Clare :

My name is Clare

Clare :

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first.

Clare :

How old are the children and why did you stop contact

Customer : 5 and 3 contact was stopped because he didn't have the children's beat interested at heart and just wanted to hurt me !! I had to get a injunction out on him and a p.o.s as he was stalking me and harassing me !!
Clare :

Have you offered Contact at a Contact Centre?

Customer : Yeh but his soliters has said it is a long waiting list and bullied me in to make the contact at my family members house but as I say the first one was today and now my family member had pulled put of it saying she doesn't want to be invoke because it is causing family problems !!
Clare :

Have you contacted local centres and asked?

Customer : Yeh there is a waiting list for our area !
Clare :

What about if you travel out a little?

Clare :

Nearby towns/

Customer : But how will it sit in court thou as they have order for him to have contact at my family relatives but as I said she ha pulled out
Customer : I Live in gravesend
Clare :

Where are the local centres?

Clare :

Is there anyone else who could do it for you?

Customer : No my famliy have pulled out of it because it has jst come out to my family that I was sexually accused by father so they are not willing to be involed !
Customer : Sorry abuse not accused
Clare :

When is the next hearing due?

Customer : Not untiLl January
Clare :

sorry just to check - it is your ex who abused you?

Customer : No my father
Clare :


Clare :

I see

Clare :

That was news to your wider family?

Clare :

I assume your father has no contact with the chidlren

Customer : Yes it came out about two weeks ago and haven't really spoke to family since !!
Customer : What will happen if there is no place for contact in two weeks time to I get in touch with his soliter or will it have to go bk to court !
Customer : No hasn't had any contact with him !
Clare :

It is sad that your family will not support you in this.

Clare :

You will need to write to the solicitor and say that there is no longer anyone willing to supervise this contact

Clare :

Confirm that you are still willing to attend a Contact Centre if they can find a place that will take him

Customer : Ok I will do that !!
Clare :

Alternatively say that if your ex is willing to pay an Independent Social Worker to supervise the contact then you will agree to that

Clare :

but say that REGRETFULLY (and yes use the word) until the matter is resolved then contact is suspended but you hope THET can resolve it first.

Clare :

It woudl be helpful if you could get a letter from the family member NOT commenting on the contact but confirming that they are no longer willing to help

Clare :

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer : Ok thank you !
Clare :

You are welcome

Customer : My eldest son is now saying he wants to live with him aswell ??
Clare :

At 5 your son is too young for his wishes to be relevant

Clare :

Children of that age can be persuaded to say almost anything and they have very little understanding of consequences.

Clare :

Assuming that you have always been the principal carer of the children your ex would have little chance of changing this