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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34898
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Hi there, my partner and I are unmarried and considering separation.

Customer Question

Hi there, my partner and I are unmarried and considering separation. I have for one year worked full time whilst he has worked part time as I am the higher earner. Naturally as his mother I want him to be with me, I'm intending in moving 170 miles away. He is suggesting that because he is the "primary carer" that he will get custody. Can you outline the position, ie what if I were to leave and take my son with him. I have offered him to have my son at weekends. Do I have the right to legal custody as his mother. At times our relationship has been tempestuous and I think he will do anything and say anything about me to get my son. I recently got very drunk and we had a massive row and he called the police, as I smashed his computer whilst on his lap this was considered "assault" and I got a caution which is unbelievable and he seems to think this is going to be enough. I have asked him to be amicable as I don't want to sling mud and I will try very hard to be amicable for the sake of our son. Where do I stand with it all please
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the child and why do you intend to move?
Is his father named on the birth certificate?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Hi Clare My child is 2.5 yrs old. I'm from essex and my family live there. We currently live in the midlands where my partner is from. Yes he is named in certificate and was at the register of the name.
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
How would you see your offer of contact working?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
No as he does not see this as fair as he would only see him Friday night to Sunday afternoon
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
I appreciate he doe snot think it is fair - what I am asking is exactly how you woudl see it working - how would the travel work, who would fund it, and when would you spend time with your child?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Sorry. I've suggested we meet half way on a Friday afternoon to drop off and same for pick up on Sunday. Both fund our own petrol. I would have him Monday to Friday before drop off. He gets the better deal in terms of time
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
I am afraid that neither parent has more right that the other to have the child in their care
Equally I am afraid that the fact that he has taken a large share of the care of the child means that it is indeed far from certain which of you would be successful in the event of a disputed Residence Order.
Your partner can apply for Residence - or simply for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent your move.
Since it is you who wishes to move any contact proposals have to be realistic - and given your child's age my first question would be - what happens when he goes to school.
If you simply move with the child your ex will be able to make an immediate application to the court for an emergency residence order so that the child is returned to his old home while the Court decides what the long term plans should be.
This would of course put you in a worse position.
Accordingly you need to negotiate this with your ex before you move - using Family mediation ( and if that fails you will need to apply for a Residence Order so that the issue is decided before you move.
More details on these websites
Please ask if you need further details