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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34910
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My wife and I are currently separated after I found out she

Customer Question

My wife and I are currently separated after I found out she had an affair and a series of one night stands I discovered on her facebook account.

She currently works in the police and when I divorce her do I have to divorce her first and then I can chase after her pension and other assets or do I do chase them first then divorce her? Is there a set protocol to this when divorcing?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How long have you lived together and are there any children involved?
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage
What other assets and debts are there?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

We have lived together since April 2005 and have been married since 26/08/2006. We have a 6 year old daughter who I believe is mine but im considering a DNA test due to me finding out the amount of men shes had according to her facebook messages I came across last month.


We rent privately from a landlord. The tenancy agreement is in both our names and ends 31st July 2014.


The only assets we have are electrical goods such as TV and a laptop which my wife purchased.


Debts : I have a loan of £4,800 outstanding which has 2 years to run and is in my name only but my wife benefitted from the loan.


I owe £500 on a credit card in my name which she used.


My wife is due £10,000 in a compensation/injury claim whilst on Police duty 3 years ago.


My wife is overdrawn by £2,000 but is waiting for her compensation to come through to clear that overdraft.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
What income do you each have and do you have a private pension?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Up until last month I was the main carer for our daughter so I only work part-time and receive Disability Living Allowance at lower rate (im registered disabled on my mntal health grounds).

I earn £11-12k gross per annum


My wife earns £30k gross per annum.


I have a small private pension which is only £20-30 a month as contribution based no set amount.


My wife has a police pension at about 9.5% of her salary

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Who will have the care of the child after separation
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

We have agreed in principal it will be joint custody however that is on the basis of me leaving the marital home and finding somewhere to live i.e. renting a flat. I however wanted to go for full custody of my daughter initially however I have been told by a law teacher than my mental health/registered as disabled will go against me and that I earn such a low income of £12,000 gross per annum.


Due to the nature of my wifes police shifts I am uncertain how it will be a joint custody as the police are notorious for late working as well as the funny shift patterns.


Up until 1 month ago I was full time carer.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
What changed last month?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I said to my wife she needed to be there to pick our daughter up from school as I was doing school drop offs and pick ups and basically doing everything while she was supposedly at work.

By everything I mean cooking, cleaning, doing my daughters school work with her. Household chores whilst working 20 hours per week employed.


We are now separated but living in the same house but im looking to leave and find a flat etc.


She is now sharing more responsibility such as collecting our daughter from school, preparing meals andshe slightly adjusted her work hours to 7am - 3pm Monday to Friday for the time being and what the police will allow.


Going forward once I find my own property my daughter can come and stay with me during my wifes unsociable hours as Im led to believe this will happen sometime next year, this is seen as a temporary work adjustment by the police plus my wife is on restricted duties due to an ankle problem.


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Your position with regard to your daughter would have been stronger if you had remained her full time carer despite the mental health issues as continuing the status quo is always a strong argument
If you want to make a financial claim against your ex you will need to start divorce proceedings first - based on her Unreasonable Behaviour.
The financial position is limited but you do have a claim on half of 8 years worth of her pension - once it has been balanced against her similar claim on your pension
Your claim on her compensation is equally small - but a contribution towards your debt could be argued for.
If the child spends most nights with you then a spouse maintenance claim is theoretically possible - but may not be worth pursuing
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details