Due to my being constantly careful of how I interact and communicate with their dad, I have managed mostly to keep from being further abused, at least physically.
I have always maintained the kids should have regular contact with their father and his involvement with schooling. I feel my relationship with him should not interfere with them having a completely different experience with him. It's my baggage not theirs, as long as he treats them well.
He does have my address and collects them from there. My Fiance has had to have a quiet word due to his hostile behaviour previously and so now he flits between being comical, hostile, bitter and indifferent.
My issues are;
My circumstances of disability and financial should have been taken into account prior to contacting him on a chain e-mail.
I will now have to cope with the excessive rage about being open with the school about my circumstances (the control of what I can and cannot say to people ever continuing)
His rage at being embarrassed at being a father who does not top up monies for his children's lunch.
His belittling me at being disabled and no longer in a position to remain independent, therefore open to attack and ridicule and further subject to his control.
My son actually does not like his father for the way he has been witness to his abuse when little and is openly waiting to defend his mother at the first opportunity, despite my wishes he not get involved.
The teacher is aware he does not like his dad.
Should his father become enraged at me or worse, the teacher has put my son and me in a vulnerable position because he disclosed private information with no thought for safety.
There are an number of ways he could have contacted his father about welfare without compromising our safety.
Apologies for the long winded answer.