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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34885
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Recently my wife and myself are separated. We have one 4 year

Customer Question

Recently my wife and myself are separated. We have one 4 year old daughter. My wife only allows me to see my daughter when she is present and for only a couple of hours during one day at the weekend. I have requested that i get my own access but she refuses. i sent the last request by solicitors letter. Her solicitor replied with a statement recording the events of the last joint meeting we had which included out of context, half truth recoding of events. This has made me very deflated and wary to engage in these get-togethers but i have no other option?
I do not know where my daughter lives and my wife has now stated all comminication must go through solicitors.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare and I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What reason does she give for this restriction?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

My wife says our daughter and herself must be comfortable with the situation. She indicates it will take time. Whilst it is true that Rebecca is very close to her mother and she is very protective of Rebecca it borders on being oppressive and it doesn't leave much room for myself. That is not to say Rebecca is not at ease with me as she is but my wife always wants to be present. I worked away from home and came home on a rotational basis. Maybe 6 weeks away and then 2 weeks at home. At present I get home every weekend.
My frustration is that I see my daughter for 2 or 3 hours at most on one of the weekend days with my wife in attendance in a supervisory basis. The inference being I cannot look after my daughter which I take as an insult . This has gone on for 6 weeks and I see no change in the situation

Seeing my daughter for about 12 hours during this 6 week period is making my tenuous bond with my daughter worse rather than better . My wife does not want help to mediate , certainly when I ask her.


Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
Have you actually attended Family mediation together?
Why do you not know where the child lives?
Have there been allegations of violence?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

No we have not attended mediation. My wife has filed for divorce without mediation. No i don't know where Rebecca lives and no allegations of violence

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
When did your wife move?
Do you know where your daughter goes to school?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

My wife moved out on 19th Nov. Yes i know which school my daughter goes to

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

my wife moved out on 19th Nov and yes i do know which school my daughter attends.

Expert:  Clare replied 4 years ago.
The contact that you are having is simply not adequate - and you do indeed need to have contact on your own
I suggest that you write to her solicitor asking for contact to take place at a local Contact Centre ( - and that further contact is discussed using Family mediation (www,
Make it plain that if she does not agree then you will apply to the court for a Defined contact order -starting at a Contact Centre and moving on from there to cover a whole day and then overnight contact.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details