My wife has dealt with the majority of day-to-day care of the children. I work from home at the moment, so I'm frequently involved in looking after the youngest while she does the school pick-up. I do the school drop off 3 days a week while she drives the youngest to nursery, and I do bath time & bedtime stories every night. I had a nanny come in to help her get a better structure in place because basic things like her eating with the children just wasn't happening, and as her drinking has become progressively worse I've had to take over most of the shopping now too. Now that 2 of them are at school, "day-to-day' care is mostly about entertaining the youngest.
The school is not aware of the problem, though some parents may have an inkling (at a playdate in December at our house, my wife 'went missing', my 19yr old niece who happened to be with us for a few days took over the supervision, and I found my wife staggering around outside having drunk loads - she subsequently chatted to one of the parers who came later to pick their child up, and i can't believe they wouldn't have smelt the alcohol).
Social services have not been involved, and I have no wish to involve them (the scare stories are too terrifying). I've been trying to help my wife sort herself out, but it's got to the pout where I've run out of ideas, she's been too awful to me too many times, and now her drinking is encroaching into the day, which puts them at risk, especially if they have to be driven somewhere.
I don't see any future for us as a husband and wife, and it seems to me that the children would not be safe within her care. I want custody of them, and for her to have supervised access.