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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35059
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Our eldest sons relationship has broken down ie engagement

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Our eldest son's relationship has broken down ie engagement broken off and his ex fiancee has returned with their son to her parents. There were difficulties/faults on both sides and our son fully recognises his failing. However, his ex is now stipulating how much access he has to his son, what money is owed for items purchased for the house ( no receipts). He also contribute £1500 towards her credit debt, although there is no online proof of this transaction. She also created an unexpected meeting involving, him, his ex-fiance and her mother where they dictated what he had to pay back and wouldn't acknowledge money he had invested for her, and their son's general well being. Can she dictate, on a whim .or what legal rights does he have for access, monetary recompensation,etc from her? And can she keep moving the goal posts, or should we put what has been agreed in writing? The house is in my son's name only, and as a couple, they lived in the house together for 10 weeks

Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the child and what contact has been offered?
What items has she actually purchased?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Our son is 28yrs old, his son is 5yrs old. he's been offered 2 days access but there's no fixed days, mark has to request week on week days he may have time for his son. Both before and since the breakup Mark has held down 2 jobs to help with the mortgage and provide for his family, this provides a challenge now to juggle job demands and free up time for his son. Ursula seems to be determined to make sure life is as difficult as possible for Mark, even destroy him??.

Items she claims to have purchased or have been gifted by her family are window blinds £400, sitting room furniture, child's bedrooom furniture, towels, bed duvet and pillows, ornaments, total value £472.Overall total is £872.

Unfortunately, Mark allowed Ursula to use his Visa card and there is no proof of what was bought by his or her money, and she claims she doesnt have the receipts, but she knows the value?

Which items will she be taking with her?
What regular contact would your son be looking for?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

She wants to take all the items detailed in previous statement:

Items she claims to have purchased or have been gifted by her family are window blinds £400, sitting room furniture, child's bedrooom furniture, towels, bed duvet and pillows, ornaments, total value £472.Overall total is £872.Mark checked his online bank a/c and large sums of money have been spent at the likes of Ikea, M&S et, but receipts are not available to Mark to prove his ex partner's claim.We are concerned that if Markwe pay this amount, there won't be more claims, almost like 'blackmail'?

He would like2 days min/week, occassionally 3 days /week when he can organise free time from his employment(s).

He also wants to still take him on a planned 2 week holiday in August with all of our family.

Mark is named as 'father' on his son's birth certificate, however, we understand that the mother would have to give written permission for this holiday!?

Does he have any actual objection to her having those items - if not then frankly there is little point in arguing it - especially if she is not talking about wanting to move back into the property
This would be a very real risk as he is under a duty to help house the child until the child is 18 and this COULD mean her and the child living in HIS house until then - so if she wants this furniture and will settle elsewhere then this is all to the good.
His ongoing maintenance liability is 12% of his gross income AT MOST
He has Parental Responsibility for his son and the right to be consulted on all major issues in his life
In addition the law says that a child is entitled to regular contact with BOTH parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary
He should try and discuss matters with his ex using Family mediation (
but if this fails he may need to apply to the court for a defined contact or shared residence order.
They each need the permission of the other to take the child out of the UK.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare and 2 other Law Specialists are ready to help you