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Ask Jo C. Your Own Question
Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 71132
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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Hi, Ive been having an affair with a woman for 2 years. About

Customer Question

Hi, I've been having an affair with a woman for 2 years. About 4 months into the affair I wanted to end it so I confessed to her I actually had a partner - she went mad and said she would kill herself if I walked, to which she attempted to. Because I didn't want to be responsible for her committing suicide I then lied and said I wasn't seeing someone so she would calm down. I didn't see her for a couple of month but we text and then I told her again that I was actually seeing someone as I wanted to get on with my life, she flipped again and went out on a date with a man and he raped her. She contacted me really upset but I didn't want to be a part of it. Stupidly enough I went to see her two weeks later as I felt sorry for her. She said he brutally raped her and left alsorts of injuries to her. She said she reported it to the police but she didn't want it to go any further with them, at that point I thought she was lying and ever since have been trying to get the truth out of her as I was scrared she was the type of person to falsely accuse. Ever since all that I have been trying to get away from her by being really nasty to her in the way of saying nasty things to her so she would just walk. In the mean time of all this we would meet up and have regular sex...another stupid thing I would do. But every time I said it needed to be over she would threaten to kill herself or tell my partner. So I've always kept in contact through fear of the threats but hoping that If I keep texting her nasty stuff she would want nothing to do with me. Sometimes she would stop contact with me and I would believe it was over and a week later or so she would text me again, and this happens all of the time. Anyway I told her to sleep with someone else so that I would have an excuse that she might think exceptable to why I don't want contact with her anymore...she did this too. Straight after she slept with him she text me what she done, I ignored and she text again and I knew she would keep texting till I replied to which I did. She wanted a rise from me and said that I never showed I loved her but I couldn't say I never did incase she would seek vengence by informing my partner so I played along with it and said I would have settled down with her but after what had happened I cant now. Anyway I went up to see her the next day to end contact with her in person. We argued and she was smiling and goading me how much she enjoyed it and I slapt her, I said sorry and then I said lets just forget it all and call it a day and whats done is done and jokingly punched her on the top of the arm in a playful way. Anyway I told her to promise me that she would not contact me again as I needed to move on and I promised her that I would never contact her. We ended up having sex again as we were then on good terms and I thought it would end on good terms. Anyway the day after I put a photo on facebook of me and my girlfriend and a few hours later she sent me a message (from her alias FB profile which she has sent me abuse on before and said enjoy your happiness I have reported your assault on me to the police). She has sent me texts in the past that she would destroy my life and she sent one 3 days before this. Anyway there was a knock on my door in the early hours and it was the police. They said they where arresting me for the rape of this woman...I was in shock. I don't know what to do and the police have taken my laptop and phone and clothes. In the station I admitted that we had sex but in no way did she say no or indicate she didn't want fact the very opposite. I admitted to slapping her and punching her in a non malice way. Stupidly enough I didn't say I wanted a solicitor in the interview. I have got one now to come to my bail date. I'm in total bits now as I know the bad texts I sent her will go against me, she sent bad texts too though and she always instigated contact. Still i'm having sleepness nights and I really fear what might happen. I only ever wanted to get away from her...please advise
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Jo C. replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for your question. My name is Jo and I will try to help with this.

What would you like to know about this?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Jo,


Yes I want to know if they could convict me of something I haven't done and what you think might happen please.



Expert:  Jo C. replied 3 years ago.
I'm not sure I can really give you good news here.

Obviously this has been mishandled and you probably realise that. If you have given this account in interview then you have admitted at least two common assaults and they will probably be saying that triggers the presumptions that consent was absent. It depends whether you have said they were before or after the sex.

It would have been better if this had been a no comment interview to avoid her fashioning her allegation to your defence or a prepared statement.

Whether or not it can be weakened is another matter. The facebook message she sent isn't really inconsistent with her allegation so it doesn't help all that much.

They would probably have found the texts anyway regardless of what you said in interview. If they are just generic relationships issues then that will not be introduced.

It depends on the merits of the evidence but, as with any other criminal prosecution, a conviction is a risk. It only takes a jury to believe her lies over your truths. Wrongful convictions are not all that common but they do happen on occasions.

The messaages she has sent you might be useful. It depends really upon why you say she would lie.

Can I clarify anything for you?