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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 32086
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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hi im asking on behalf of my girlfriend as a very worried boyfriend my

Customer Question

hi im asking on behalf of my girlfriend as a very worried boyfriend
my qeustions and topic is
shes married (in turkey 2009) to a turkish man who now lives here
up untill july last year and she finally found the strengh to get rid of him,
he was living with her
after 7 years of , living at her expense, never having a job,living of her wages,
(she paid for everything his ever had and then some , ie - the marriage,visa,driving licence
,clothes,food,college courses,holidays,computers,gadgets, and everything he ever needed.
also they had a daughter in 2010 who is now 4
when she decided enough was enough last year he took it very badly and has caused nothing but problems since - mentally and financially (not that he's ever contributed anyway) , and her being quite messed up herself (mentally) she cant move on.
he took the red marriage book , 1 weekend last year when seeing his daughter
then went back to turkey for a month , only to come back to stay at a mutual friends (where he still didnt get a job , untill this friend got him a job at his place just to get him out of their house)
because my girlfriend is a decent human being she wants him and their daughter to carry on seeing eachother and at xmas this year he came to stay for a week to do so, but during that week he damaged her flat and abused her mentally while all the time telling his 3 year old daughter bad stuff about her mum and me :( all ive ever done is back her up and say that he should see his daughter , even though he's verbally abused me too i was preppered to put that aside as i believe the child will in time work out herself what her real dad is really like.....
she has tried to be amicable with him several times over the past 9 months but when he damaged the flat she told him the next time he was due that he couldnt stay with them and would have to take his daughter away for the day/weekend, (even though we were scared stiff that he might do something stupid)
his reply was to then verbually abuse her again , ring mine and hers mutual friends and abuse them too ???
then she got the silent treatment when he finally realised he wasnt going to get his way and she was never going to take him back
but my girlfreind being the great human being she is, still wanted to get him to see his daughter even though the daughter is'nt exactly bothered by his lack of appearances !!
my girlfriend has asked him several times to make some sort of contribution to his daughters life ie money/care but she gets nothing and now hes finally had a job for a couple of months , hes gone out and brought a bmw and insurance for it while all the time doing nothing for his daughter ???
anyway he came down from bath last week and said that he will not be seeing his daughter or contributing to her care fullstop unless my girlfriend gets rid of me
(emotional blackmail)
my girlfriend is completly and mentally tired and we have had to split due to his atitude towards seeing his daughter :( and his utter refusal to sort anything out ie divorce/ matinance or his attitude
my girlfriend is'nt mentally fit enough to divorce him and we have sort advice but could only go to the CAB as she does'nt have the funds to take him to court anyway and the CAB were'nt exactly helpfull , all they told us was what we'd allready found out from the internet
my qeustion is what can i do to get this god awfull man who doesnt clearly deserve to see his daughter out of our lifes ,as now it has come to emotional blackmail, i feel violated as it has now ruined my life with her and her daughter and he has tried to blacken my name , said he knows where i live and work (ie threat) and completly ruined mine and her lifes - i want to know what i can do to sort this (and i say this sarcastically) MAN out of my life completly - he's had his chance and he blew it has far as i'm concerned - but shes HAD to give in for the mental sake of her daughters well being
many thanks lee
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What contact (if any) is he having at the moment?