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Ask Jo C. Your Own Question
Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 71054
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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FOR JO C Hi Jo I recently asked this question

Customer Question


Hi Jo

I recently asked this question and to cut a very long story short, there has been further contact between us. I think I have only actually seen him twice, but there have been messages between us etc. Due to his controlling behaviour, and the tactics he uses to coerce/intimidate me, I was stupid enough to be fooled by him again. He constantly tells me who I can and cannot 'speak to' on social networking sites and accuses me of all sorts. A few weeks ago, he publicly tweeted me calling me 'deeply unpleasant' because I had refused to go to a concert with him. I ignored it. When an acquaintance of mine replied with something along the lines of 'You're calling her Sarah unpleasant? Are you kidding me?', he then had an exchange of private messages with this person about me and him. He has regularly been sending me screenshots of this person's tweets (which were all completely unrelated to him) to show me what a 'f**king vile trolling c**t' she is and that she 'persecutes men.' He claims that he has done nothing wrong in sending me the original public tweet - which he later deleted. However, yesterday he sent me more screenshots of this girl's tweets. I then sent her a private message just to warn her that he was doing that, in case she wanted to make her account private and block him. She then (totally against my wishes) posted a public tweet saying 'I hope when I'm in my 60's I'm not screenshotting conversations and obsessed with girls in their twenties.' He then immediately sent this to me and because I had minutes before privately said to him 'You're a 60 year old man taking screenshots of a stranger's tweets', he decided I had put her up to this. When I said this was unture and that I would never want to be involved in anything like what had happened before, he said 'She's landed you in the shit. This is similar to what you were doing before. She's landed you right in the shit and your showing her a message from me is a betrayal of confidentiality.' He constantly makes veiled threats to speak to his lawyer. What happened yesterday was NOT my fault but he has me so frightened and confused that I don't know what to think. I am at the end of my tether. I've spent weeks trying to make him understand that I want to be left alone. I've tried being 'nice' to placate him and have even almost found myself agreeing to sleep with him again, just so he doesn't intimidate me. I hope this makes some sense, but I am now petrified that something I did not put her up to is going to cause trouble for me.

Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: I still need help.
I posted a link to a previously answered question but had added other information.
Expert:  Jo C. replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for your question. My name is Jo and I will try to help with this.

what would you like to know about this?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Jo


As I said, all I want to know is whether he is correct that in relation to what happened previously, a message posted online by somebody else would mean anything? I did not put this person up to it. He says it is 'a breach of confidentiality' because he wrongly assumes that I have showed all of his messages to me to this person and thinks I put her up to posting a comment alluding to him online.



Expert:  Jo C. replied 3 years ago.
So, in short, you are asking if showing a third party a tweet exchange with another is an offence?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes, kind of. But also whether the actions of an acquaintance of mine would be a problem for me with regard to what happened before? He frequently sends me instant messages containing screenshots of what this girl has been saying on Twitter - these are just her general tweets and in no way connected to him. Because he keeps doing this, yesterday I told her (privately) that he was doing it, because I thought it was wrong - and God knows why, she then decided that posting a tweet alluding to him would be a good idea. He then sent me a screenshot of the tweet in question and said 'So the gloves are off. You're getting her to do your dirty work, she's landed you in the shit, just because you didnt post it it doesn't mean you won't be implicated' etc etc. He claims that because I had said something similar to him (privately) a few moments before she posted it, I must have asked her to post this public message. That's NOT true. I had merely told her that he is screenshotting her tweets. He says that to 'share private text messages between me and him' with her is 'a betrayal of confidentiality and that I must have put her up to posting it, therefore I am 'in the shit.' I haven't shared private messages, I warned her that he screenshots her tweets and the rest is in his head.

Expert:  Jo C. replied 3 years ago.
I'm sorry but I don't understand what she is actually said to have done?

Just a brief summary will be fine.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Sorry...after he sent me screenshots/messages which were basically slagging her off, I privately told her he had done this because I felt it was wrong and just plain weird. Instead of doing nothing but blocking him online, she then posted a public tweet which said 'I hope when I am in my sixties I am not screenshotting people's conversations and obsessing over girls in their twenties.' He sent it to me accusing me of putting her up to it. She then deleted it which he said 'further compounds my complicity.' Because of everything I described in my first question a few months back, he now says I am guilty of something and reading between the lines, was again saying he would take this to his lawyer. I'm sorry this is quite rambling and confusing, but I don't really know which way is up where he is concerned. Thanks.

Expert:  Jo C. replied 3 years ago.

It is possible that this could amount to harassment. If he is saying that you got here to make contact with him even indirect herself then that can amount to harassment.

However, he seems to be doing much the same thing so its really just a three way row.

It would be much better if you just didn't have anything to do with each other.

But the allegation he is making is harassment and its not entirely without basis although its not very good.

Can I clarify anything for you?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thanks - so if he did take it to his lawyer, should I expect to hear from them or given that he obviously wouldn't tell them what he's been doing to me, would they advise him not to? He has definitely harassed me - I have told him many times that I want him to leave me alone and earlier this year he sent me 100 instant messages over the course of a few weeks before I gave in and replied to him again. Also could I ask what the outcome of something like this might be if he has contacted his lawyer?

Expert:  Jo C. replied 3 years ago.
Well, some people have been known to lie and report what has been happening to them and conveniently forget what they have been doing.

I would imagine that he would report it to the police first as thats free but they will discontinue this as soon as they see the remainder of the conversation.

I realise that you say he has harassed you and I do understand but, if I can be wholly and brutually honest, this is really just a case of 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. Everybody is contributing. Just block him and do not otherwise become involved with him and this will all disappear in a week.

This is just a relationship issue.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Ok, thank you. I hope so. Thanks for your advice.

Expert:  Jo C. replied 3 years ago.
Its really nothing to worry about. This is just a three way argument in which everybody is as bad as each other. Nothing will happen about this.

No problem and all the best.

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