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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35065
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I have two boys aged 13 and 15 who are at boarding school during

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I have two boys aged 13 and 15 who are at boarding school during term time. Their father and I divorced 11 years ago and now we share the school holidays equally. However my ex keeps changing the arrangements that we make (taking more days etc) and not sticking to the plans we make at the beginning of the holidays. During our marriage he was emotionally abusive (culminating in physical abuse). Since our divorce he continues to send me abusive texts and rants at me on the phone, so this week I've told him that I have blocked his phone number and that I will only communicate by email. This in effect is not very different to the level of contact we've had before, except that now I don't have to be shouted at. He has taken exception to this and is keeping the boys at his house this coming weekend when he knows that our arrangements have always been that I am taking them to Cornwall on Saturday. He regularly changes the days so that I lose time with my sons. Is there anything I can do to stop this happening?
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Are there any court orders in place regarding contact?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

No, we've never been to court, agreements have been made between us.

What arrangements would the boys prefer?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

They are happy to share the holidays but they don't want to have to be involved in the details of organising them, which is fine, as I've said there is no reason why we can't do this by email but how can I ensure that he sticks to plans?


The starting point is to try and discuss matters with your ex using Family mediation (
I appreciate that this is unlikely to work - but you do at least need to have gone to an assessment meeting with them (alone)
When that fails you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order setting out exactly what time the children spend with each of you - which can then be enforced if necessary
You can read more about court applications here
Please ask if you need further details
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