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UKSolicitorJA, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 4312
Experience:  English solicitor with over 12 years experience
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I dont really know where to start but I suppose sticking to

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I don't really know where to start but I suppose sticking to pertinent facts is best!
I got myself involved with a married woman, at her suggestion though obviously my responsibility. She already had a three year old little boy. She told me that her relationship was already going wrong before he was born. I don't know what she meant by that, in hindsight. He found out and wasn't happy, obviously. We stopped seeing each other but kept in touch via email, while I travelled abroad. I returned and thought we could meet as friends. It didn't turn out that way! She and he separated. I do not know if this was amicable. I went to work with her but did not really know how to deal with the situation so told no one! She ran away one day and said that we were too different. I did not know what to say. I was snowed under with work and communications failed. She became angry which, in hind sight I understand. We split up and I left my job. Just prior to splitting up she told me that she had been asked out by another man. I told her that she could go, but didn't expect her to explode and end things.
She took up with this other man, who she still lives with. Seven months later, I tried to contact her via email. She told me that she was expecting a baby. I did not know how to respond so just sent my congratulations. I again tried to contact her, five years ago now, when she told me that her new man was ok. I just wished them all the best.
There is no communication at all.
I have no idea who the father is. I have presumed that it is his but obviously this may not be true, it could be mine.
As I assume that I am not on the birth certificate, having not been present at the birth, I have no rights. I accept this. Do I have any responsilbility, now or in the future. I need to know this as I have recently met another woman, who has 2 grown kids from a previous marriage.
The child is now eight, in school and I hope doing ok. I do not wish to disrupt her childhood, as it seems stable. I just want to know where I stand financially. Do I have much say?
You would be legally responsible for paying child maintenance if you are the father of the child, it would not matter that you were not married to this woman or that you are not named as the father on the birth certificate.
Child maintenance is usually payable until the child is 16 or 20 if studying full time up to A level standard or 20 if child benefit is being claimed for the child by the mother.
You may work out how much child maintenance you would be liable for under statutory rules using this calculator:
If there is a disagreement about whether or not you are the father, see here for what options are available to the child maintenance service
Hope this helps
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