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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 71151
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I have been asked to report to a local police station to give

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I have been asked to report to a local police station to give my side of a domestic row. My wife and I do row quite a lot and are now likely to separate. Unfortunately I lost my temper and threw a cheap metal hanger across the bedroom in frustration (not directed at her). This was early one morning and I was trying to get dressed and get out to work and couldn't prevent my wife from continuing to harangue me over a disagreement. I had pleaded with her to stop escalating the situation especially as our young son of 6 was also waiting to be taken to school in another room of our flat. I ended up pushing her out of the bedroom to try to calm the situation down and she has now reported me to the police for some kind of assault. I am now very concerned how this will be handled even though this is a one off incident. Kevin
Thank you for your question. My name is ***** ***** I will try to help with this.
Sorry you are having your time wasted on this twaddle.
How can I help please?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I would like to know how to respond as I am going in without any sense of what has been claimed. My wife unfortunately often over reacts to situations and now I am left facing a very serious escalation of a situation which although I regret my reaction (this has never happened before) in the heat of the moment, in the whole scheme of things was innocuous and quite frankly is embarrassing for it to be played out

Yes, I am quite aware of the merits of most domestics.
Has she done this to you before?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

not that I am aware of

If you are separating then she probably will be willing to give evidence against you. Hope for the best and plan for the worst.
Usually the allegations that are made have a grain of truth in them that is wildly exaggerated so she will probably be saying that it was much more serious than your account is.
You need to sort out a solicitor to attend with you. You can use the duty solicitor but then you will have to wait for him to arrive which should be within 45 minutes of being called although we all know the reality.
In terms of outcome, they may well offer a caution. I wouldn't accept that lightly. Its still pretty much as bad as a conviction from the point of view of damage to your reputation.
The downside of that is that they may charge you and send you to court. I have to say that unless she has injuries or a witness or there has been a long history of her doing this when she can't have what she wants, the right decision would be to take no further action. This is one person's word against another. Unless you are not credible in interview there is no legitimate reason to charge. However, this is a domestic and therefore the witch finder general will be out so I would brace yourself for a charge on very flimsy evidence.
The only concern I do have here is that you seem to accept pushing her and that is a common assault potentially. The coat hanger is no offence unless you threw it at her. It does depend why you pushed her but if its just that you had enough of listening to her nagging then that is a common assault.
Also, they will probably say it was aggravated because it took place with a child in the house even if he didn't witness the matter.
Can I clarify anything for you?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

i don't understand the aggravated piece. Also are there any extenuating circumstances as i now feel I am being victimised especially given her previous behaviour eg in July she had an episode of heavy drinking and disappeared for 4 days (drugs also involved). I am still unclear why this happened (also during easter and december) other than she has 'black periods'. I am self employed and on a number of occasions have been left in the lurch oblivious to her whereabouts and so have had to drop everything to ensure our boy is cared for. She ended up at an emergency crisis centre full of remorse and was under some kind of treatment for a couple of weeks. it gets scary and I have now had enough of the over reactions to ordinary household situations. This is why I wish to separate so this police situation has now made things untenable and my main concern is our child rather than saving our relationship.

it was aggravated because it took place with a child in the house even if he didn't witness the matter.
Of course, there are mitigating circumstances. There is not much genuine domestic abuse in the UK. She has done this for revenge as she never would if she had to pay for the police investigation. The police are generally quite well aware that they are used by people to mediate their Jeremy Kyle disputes.
However, mitigation doesn't amount to a defence.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My worry is that taking a solicitor is an act of escalation and I am genuinely trying not to over react to an over reaction. Are you saying to me the risks are too high not to take a solicitor

(This is my last question as I need to close now ).

Yes, absolutely.
Taking a solicitor doesn't escalate this. Your wife's massive overreaction has escalated it. We all have rows. We don't all invite the police along to play at them.
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