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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35075
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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I have a special guardianship order of my five grand children

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I have a special guardianship order of my five grand children the eldest is fifteen and has made allegations to her teachers that she is being mentally and emotionally abused in my care. the social services have been brought in and have placed her at her wishes back with her mother whom she was removed from over six years ago when she then came into my care. After along time being subjected to the violent abuse her mother was involved in, in her relationships I feel that this is not a good place for my granddaughter to be placed in as she has been constantly been at the hands of her mothers mind games which she plays with all her children. Where as her legal guardian do I stand. The social have said it is for a cooling off period for my grand daughter until they can work with her and try to resolve the under lying issues my grand daughter has with me. This all began just over a week ago because I found out that she had for the third time signed up to a face book account without parental permission. She is aware of the reasons as to why she is not allowed an account due to her actions over a year ago when whilst using face book she made accusations that she had been physically attacked by a man whilst she was out. The police were involved and eventually she admitted that she had fabricated the story but could not give reasons why she had and the consequences of her actions I grounded her for the six weeks and banned her from the shopping centre she frequented as I found out that she was hanging around with inappropriate older youths. With the guidance of the police I sort counselling for her and she attended for ten weeks at the beginning of this year. She said she was benefitting from the counselling. But little has changed to the lying & Secretive manner in which she has behaved. I feel that the consequences I have imposed on my grand daughter are justified this time as I only aired my views as to the fact that I was not happy that she felt that she did not feel that she could come to me & ask if she could now at fifteen be trusted to have a face book account as I had only said two months ago that she was to my knowledge doing extremely well at school and her attitude was a vast improvement to her responsibilities as a teenager she has had new friends over the past twelve months, joined the air cadets and has maintained her achievements at school all of this her mother was aware of as she has regular contact with all five of my grand children through a contact order taken out at court when my special guardianship order was put in place. Her mother apparently was aware that she had a face book account and had encouraged my grand daughter to block all my family from her account.I am aware that she is of an age where her feelings are to be taken into account and if I had been made aware of how much she wanted to return to her mothers fulltime care I am sure I would have agreed to arrangements being made to help her move on and have the relationship she craves for with her mother unfortunately I feel that her mother is playing a big part in influencing her in the way & manner things have been presented to me this week. please advise me as to where I stand & how do I protect my other four grand children from being subject to this awful position I now have to deal with as they have suffered enough & have had to deal with the separation of their parents and the violent behaviour their mother has subjected them to at such young ages. I am seeking advise from my original solicitor who dealt with the case six years ago but up until now all that I am getting is that there's nothing I can do So what is the point of having the special guardianship if it does have any weight in dealing with the situation I find myself in.
Thank you for your question.
My name is ***** ***** I will do my best to help you .
The SGO places you in exactly the same position that you would be in if you were her mother.
Indeed if there was a dispute between you and the mother it would be you who had the deciding vote.
However you are also in the exact situation a mother would be in - this young lady is 15 and her wishes about where she wishes to live will be respected - unless Social Services intervene.
I suggest that you ask Social Services to set up a Family meeting with you your granddaughter and her mother so that you can discuss a way forward that works for the child
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