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Jo C.
Jo C., Barrister
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 71135
Experience:  Over 5 years in practice
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I am the "defendant" and have a non covictional restraining

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I am the "defendant" and have a non covictional restraining order (exp July 2015) against the cow that ran off with my husband - harrassed her when I found out about the affair. However , she managed to get my husband listed also in the RO.
It is making child contact impossible. We cant communicate and I cannot hand over my twin sons at contact.
He has made an interim agreement via solicitors to apply to vary RO for email communication and physical handover as long as I dont speak!!!'
Its like a hostage situation out of check point charlie - not good for my boys!
He now ( instigated by his slut of a girlfriend) keeps threatening me via solicitors for a breach as I have emailed him and mentioned money ( no CSA). His solicitor says that I only have his "permission" to discuss contact times & dates - now says this is a breach ! I have had numerous threats like this as soon as I mention any thing that "upsets" him - they write and threaten reporting a breach. ( cried at handover the other day and he "said" I was breaching!)
To this end , I have told his solicitor that I will not accept this informal variation or indeed ( when heard at magistrates) any court ordered variation for fear of further false allegations. It serves no purpose or protection for me - just a stick to beat with me for the next 10 months.
I have insisted that the only way I can facilitate child handovers and trust the situation is if he revokes the order relating to him entirely. If not, I said he should come back for contact after the RO expires - as I sure I will be falsely accussed of a breach on RO again.
There is no 3 rd party to handover kids but me - what do you think my chances of a full revoke is? I am damned if I do , damned if I dont as I have a child arrangement order ( and all the obligations usually involved) and I have an RO that carries a prison sentance if I breach !!!!! Its a mess and the way I see it Im going to be in trouble either way unless RO removed.
Please advise most likely outcome ....
Thank you for your question. My name is ***** ***** I will try to help with this.
I have to be honest with you, unless she agrees to it full revocation is not likely.
There is no way around it.
You might get the court to remove his name from the revocation order if he agrees or some form of variation that says something like save for the facilitation of child contact.
You are right. There is no such thing as an informal variation.
However, the plain fact is that this is not an excuse for not allowing contact. That will be a breach as well and he will complain successfully.
There is no reason contact cannot be arranged through solicitors in the short term without breach
Can I clarify anything for you?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
But do I not have a right to refuse an informal "undertaking" made by him via solicitor to not report me for a breach unyil magistrates hearing fir RO happens? Also can I then refuse a court ordered variation to allow for child contact as I feel at risk , based on any whim he may have to report me for a breach ( as threatened many times previously)I feel only removing him entirely from RO will allow proper communication and appropriate handover that is in the best interest for the children.
My other thought is as I am damned either way - should I choose to breach child arrangement order over RO as RO risks a custodial?
1 Yes. That does not mean you can defy a court order for contact though.
2 No.
3 No. That would be almost certainly interpreted by the family courts as using the situation as an excuse.
There is always around these difficulties anyway. Contact can be arranged through 3rd parties such as solicitors. A restraining order never makes contact impossible.
It is desirable that a restraining order be varied to make contact workable but it will not prevent it altogether.
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