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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34895
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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Hello, My Dad had two children with a woman, Jordan and

Customer Question

My Dad had two children with a woman, Jordan and Hollie. When Jordan was 6 and Hollie was 2, she left him for another man and left the children behind. Bother her and my Dad went on to marry other people. She had two more children and saw Jordan and Hollie on weekends. There were always diputes over them staying with her overnight due to hygiene reasons. In June 2013 my Dad and the two children came to live with me and my partner as him and his wife separated. I was on maternity leave so could take both children to school and care for them whilst Dad was at work. This was never a permanent arrangement as our house was too small and I was due to go back to work. Dad moved out into a bedsit (his own choice) and asked his sister to take care of the children. Hollie was happy with this as there is another girl of a similar age to her there, but Jordan really did not want to go. Dad and I reached the difficult decision for Jordan to stay permanently at my house with me, my fiancé and my daughter as he was now 12 and able to get the bus home from school, whereas Hollie at age 8 needed more care, so she went to stay with my aunt. My aunt in the end asked my Dad to take Hollie Back or my Dad asked for her back (unsure of how that happened). Poor Hollie has been pushed from pillar to post her whole life! Jordan however, is still with me. His mother tried to get him to stay with her once before but he chose to come home with me. Now, there are more agruments in the family as a whole and I am being threatened with social services and Jordan being removed. I have no issue with social services as I feel I have nothing to worry about, but I do worry daily that his mother who apparently is the only one that holds any rights over Jordan can take him away at any time. Poor Jordan is also living on the edge as he doesn't want to leave either. What can we do to make ours and his life more stable?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the child now and which year and month was he born in?
How long has he lived with you?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Jordan is now 13. He was born 27/06/01. He has lived with me since June 2013, so almost a year and a half.

I apologise Clare, I should have said thank you and hello. My name is***** am currently at work so only checking in a rush every now and then.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi Charlene
is his mother likely to agree to him living with you - and will your father also agree?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My Dad definitely agrees as he is the one that placed him with me. Jordan goes to Dads every other weekend. He is the one that has told me to seek legal advise as he has been told that Jordans Mum can take him no matter what we do.

I'm not so sure about his Mum. She is upset at the moment as Jordan refuses to see her (he used to go to hers at weekends too) and we do not force him to. We haven't heard from her since June and now all of a sudden she is interested again. She tried to get him to move in with her earlier in the year. He was going to and then changed his mind at the last minute. Apparently she had cried to him and said if he moved in with her she would get a new house..... He asked to come back to mine so Dad brought him back. If ever Jordan wanted to go back to either parent I would never stop him, but at the moment he doesn't want to and he is scared she will just take him. When she let him come back, she said to me that's it, you can have him until he leaves home now. But that was just words and she changes her mind frequently. This weekend when he went to stay with Dad, she had been moaning to the family about Jordan not wanting to visit her and so he had my aunt and her partner full on shouting at him which led to him to run out crying. At this point he was brought back to me. So after the episode yesterday, I probably will have a battle on my hands.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
You can apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order stating that the child lives with you.
This will give him the certainty that he needs - and you a form of Parental Responsibility for the child.
At the same time your father can apply for Parental Responsibility himself since he does not have it for the child at present.
You will need the permission of the court to make the application but this is a formality and will be granted since the child lives with you, and given his age it will be his wishes that the court follow so the Order will be made.
However you do still first have to try Family mediation to agree matters
You can read more about the court process here
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for your advise. I will be following up with this and hopefully things go well.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
You are most welcome - I hope all goes well