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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 35042
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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please a solicitor help me . family and immigration matter

Customer Question

please a solicitor help me .
family and immigration matter .
separated from husband . not yet divorced . 2 small children . husband on spouse visa which expires february 2015.
have reported to immigration for curtailment of viSA 3 days ago .
worried because i dont want to give child contact . as there is domestic violence .
him arrested many times .
still he is arrested recently . is on police bail .
waiting police investigations see if he gets charged . he got away last time .
i wish to get him deported . as he has defrauded me . i spent everything on him .
i am on state benefits now .
please tell me what i can do , i am unable to get any solicitor advise . as im stuck at home . and solicitors want u to visit their office .
a solicitor is involved in telling him how he can leave me and family and live separately to sort his stay in the country
he cares nothing about children and me .only his stay in uk .
while he was arrestde . i were interview as well .
a child abuse officer interview him .and got keys of my house to take photos /. why do u feel that was done ?
i am feeling unsecured in this house . as if they have planted some recording devices in the house. can they do that ? if yes what can i do to get rid of it . call police again and complain ? has he alleged child abuse on me .
i take care of my children all day night . ilove them . he threatened me he will take them from me . i am trapped in the house since past 4 years . please help . he is manipulating me and the system . should i give update to immigration . please give me email address and postal address for uk border agency so i know i sent things to right place.
he was of different religion . he changed to mine . he did all to get this marriage going to get entry clearance in the country . i lost all money because i supported financially and sorted his immigration . he spent not single penny in 4 years of this marriage .
please help
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old are the children and why can you not leave the house?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

3 and 10 month old .. because all day i am doing mummy duties cooking cleaning ..

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Do you have any support from friends and family?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

no friends and family near

please answer my question it is urgent

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
The Police took photographs to back up the case that is being prepared against your ex - there is no question of any recording devices having been put in place
You can contact UKVI (which has replaced UKBA) using the options on the website here
However only they can decide whether or not to deport him
You have grounds to start divorce proceedings based on his Unreasonable Behaviour
There is no likelihood that he can remove the children from you care - but it would be good for you to look at local mother and toddler and other groups so that you feel less trapped
If you need further details on your options please do not hesitate to ask
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

yes clare hello

i am back

i have few more questions for you .

i am sorry i am on my own with 2 little ones . and so much going on in my life .

would u be happy to guide me ??

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
What would you like to know?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

hello clare thank you

(1) when he applied to court for child contact i refused it and agreed for mediation . the non-molestation order was ended and v were allowed tp go home as a family and try mending everything .

question is does this mediation period count as his contact with the children ? will the court consider it as such , if he applies for contact again . whereas he never visited regularly as he works all day and was never interested in meeting children , rather avoided visiting whilst they were awake . always texted to ask if they were sleeping all he ever came was for sex .

i were in touch with him for 6 months over fone on and off . as he kept annoying me . he stole the marriage certificate and my son's birth certificate from my purse in the month of october '14 .

he tried to obtain a letter from the mediator saying he was in regular contact with children instruction him not to tell me anything about this request of his . which was refused by the mediator as he could not legally do this . he back-stabbed me .

(2) if i initiate divorce now , would the judge force me to give him contact as i want to refuse it again . because he he is preaching my children a different religion to mine . and is always screaming at my daughter .and does not want to spend money on them . has not paid maintenance in the 11 month separation .

and is only after child contact because needs it for getting hold of further leave to remain in the UK his spouse visa expires next month end .

(3) if i do not divorce him now and if he goes back to his home country pakistan . can i start divorce whilst he is there .

would that be better .

i just cannot give him child contact . he used me . he now wants to use my children .

i know for a fact if he gets hold of FLR he would not even turn back to look at us . he does not give a damn about us .

please advise

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Have you offered contact at a Contact Centre?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

no i have not offered any contact at all .

he only visited my home sometimes to prove he was meeting children .

will this mediation period count as child contact clare ?

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
No i am afraid Mediation does not count as child contact.
The law says that a child is entitled to contact with both parents and the courts will enforce this if necessary.
However the contact does need to be safe and child centred so that is why you should offer Contact at a Contact Centre where he will have to show that he is actually capable of caring for them - and does not have contact with you at all
I am sorry - I know this is not what you hoped for - but in fact it will be a good way of keeping you safe
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

is there no way i can get him out of our lives ?

is there no way i can convince the court he does not deserve contact .

clare i spent everything on this man . he ruined me completely financially and emotionally .

he only screams at older daughter and son he says dirty things to the 10 month old like .. ''we will find women together .u will f**k the daughter and i will f**k the mother '' .

he only wants contact for FLR

is there no way he can be deported . can i request it to UKVI

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Please try not to worry.
You do need to offer contact at a contact centre as it is what the court is likely to order.
However that assumes that he will actually be able to commit to turning up for two hours once a week and can manage to cope with the children
The children will be safe because there will be other people there - who will also notice if he does shout at the children.
This is the most effective way of allowing him to demonstrate himself that he has no interest in or ability to care for the children
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

hi clare how are you

sorry for late reply

marry christmas

dear clare i am sure you understand well he would not behave bad in a contact centre . he is very clever

clare you know last year when the non-molestation order existed , he was foning me , visiting me everything. so many times i thought of reporting him , but he threatened me he would kill me if i opened my mouth . and he said he will make sure the children go into care . i wish i had reported then .

i wish even now i can take courage to report him . but will the police do anything as the order does not exist no more . also i have evidence to prove . he was in contact .

would i be punished . as it was nit my fault because each time he threatened me .

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
You have done nothing wrong so please do not worry
When was the last incidence of violence?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

last incident of violence was 20/11/2014 . was arrested then . for marital rape . is on police bail now .

should i tell officer incharge of his breach of non mol order last year .

they are investigating and see if he is charged .

if they let him go he will make my life hell . may b even kill me

last year he got away with the ABH for which he was charged . but marital rape was dropped as no evidence .

but he did it again . and a condom wrapper with his prints and bed sheet is with the officers now .

i await results .

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
You have done nothing wrong, and if his bail is lifted then you can immediatly apply for a further non molestation order and an order excluding him from the property.
Please seek advice on this as soon as possible.
You can certainly explain that you were afraid to report the breaches last year.
from what you have said he is unlikely to actually keep to the rules of the Contact Centre since he can hav no contact with you - which is what he wants most
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

yes and only thing worrying now is that social services are involved and they just want to prove im not protecting the kids ,.

if i did report old breaches woud thhey take kids from me . if i have confirmation they cannot as i look after them more than myself . then i can call police tmrw and inform them .

please advise

can i meet with u clare ? where r u based . i am in london

do u believe he will be charged with rape ?

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Are the children on the At Risk Register?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


only referred to social services as child in need

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Then try not to worry.
Provided you are clear that you will be reporting any and every breach in the future all will be well.
You should also find a local Freedom Programme Course as this would help you in the future
Sadly I am a long way from London - but i am here should you need me
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

should u report last years breaches to officer incharge ?

do u feel the will charge him of marital rape this second time ?

yes that is why i am keeping in touch hope you dont mind clare

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
I would certainly mention it if there is talk of varying the bail conditions - there is no way of knowing if he will be charged - but I will keep my fingers crossed for you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

yes clare i still need to keep in touch with you

i will email you on monday

in the meanwhile you must enjoy ur christmas

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

hi Clare

im back

marry christmas and a happy new year

1. i had written to curtailments have not heard anything from them yet . his visa expires mid january.

2. i need your final advice on if i should go ahead and tell the police about his violation of the non molestation order he was calling me meeting me took me to a hotel on 3 separate occasions .

would social services take my children away upon hearing this ?

he used to say he would kill himself if i didnt come i just wanted him punished for what he did to me . never wanted someone to suicide .

hotel has cctv .. can b proved that we went there

3. if i tell them now would i sound dumb ? or desperate for getting him punished ?

4. how does curtailments work ? informed them end nov 14 . visa expires mid jan 15

5. if he applies to court for contact ?

6. how does it all work out ?

7. can they deport him if he gets a criminal conviction from marital rape and harassing by coming over and making an argument over demanding my fone from outside home window and threatening to kill me .

plz reply my life is trapped in these questions that i have put in front of you . please reply me with your best expertise .

i am a very helpless mother of two young children all on my own .

await your urgent reply .

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Hi Amber
Deep breaths it is going to be fine.
There is no need to tell them about the violations UNLESS they suggest varying the bail conditions.
If you do tell them then no Social Services will not remove the children PROVIDED that you do not have any further contact with him no matter what threats he makes.
You will not sound dumb - your story is not uncommon
It is up to UKVI what they do about his visa - there is no further action that you can take I am afraid
If he applies to the Court for Contact then the history will mean that contact is limited to a Contact Centre
he may be deported if there is a Criminal Conviction.
In the mean time you need help in dealing with matters so please call
0808 2000 247
and talk to someone who can help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

thank you Clare

u r the best

will keep u updated

and if i am in any trouble ever u will be the first person i will turn to get advice

will write again shortly

hope u have a happy new year

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
You are welcome - do be kind to yourself at this time
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

hi Clare

hope u r well

another problem now .

to apply for divorce .. i need to get hold of legal aid .. for legal aid i need a copy of the charge sheet from lat year when my husband was charged with abh .

i have spoken to the uxbridge police station , the public access office and 101 they all say i cannot get another persons information .

please advise . what route to take .

i am feeling very sad and low . sometimes i lose my hope .

all day my poor little children . my whole body aches of holding them and taking care of them all day long . now they have slept so i am writing to you . i am so tired . but no one understands . no help .

i have not heard back from curtailments .

you know his visa expires in 10 days . do you think he can apply for contact and can get a hearing in time and make an application to the HO for FLR ?

what do u think are his possibilities ?

and his bail has been extended to the end of this month . until then the decision will b taken should he or should he not be charged with the criminal acts .

does this mean his visa has been extended too .

what do u think is going on . please tell me with your experience of whats going on ,


Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Have you called the number I gave you?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

not yet

please answer

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Please call the number - it will enable you to access the direct support which you so badly need.
The fact that he is currently on bail for offences against you should be sufficient to access legal aid - as the article here states
Your Non Molestation Order should also entitle you to Legal Aid
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

hi Clare

non-mol was ended for mediation to take place

my new worry is i have just got a copy of his passport in my email

the visa page says : VISA LEAVE TO REMAIN OUTSIDE OF RULES valid from 23/10/12 to 23/01/15

what does this mean . was this a spouse visa ?

he as soon as he came in UK he started saying i dont need u anymore i got my visa yes i used u .

and the solicitor i paid to get him here , he is behind all the hard time i have faced . he advised him u dont need her now and my husband started mistreating me and harassing me . for past 2 years .

i really feel i have been a Victim of Fraud .

my husband planned it from beginning till end .

will Curtailments work . did u have the right to write to them to request Curtailment of his visa .

what visa is that ?

and what ways would he b able to extend it .

i have not slept all night yesterday night

and tomorrow morning social service sis having a meeting at my baby's montessori

she said they have decided to put my children up as Child in Need .

what is a Child in Need

do i have to agree to this ? what will be the best way to deal with them

do i have to sign any more papers ?

i am fed up

police social services are now harassing me and he is enjoying himself with other women , working making money

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
he has been given a short term visa whilst the matters are being considered - and he no longer has a spouse visa.
You should agree to the Child in Need proposal as it will mean that you can be offered help and support by social services
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

hi Clare


that is the visa he entered with .

it is not a spouse visa i think

and i sent a letter to curtailments to cancel ..

i wonder if i were entitled to request so .

his Entry Clearance visa was this now due to expire 23/01/15

can he simply extend it on basis of work which he has in uk ?

would he need to show he is with family or child contact to extend it ?

or does he not need us ?

that means he used us all

and now v r tissue papers

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
The only basis on which he could stay would be to exercise contact with his children