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Clare, Solicitor
Category: Law
Satisfied Customers: 34905
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practice since 1985 with a wide general experience.
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My partner's 82 year old father lives alone in a sheltered

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My partner's 82 year old father lives alone in a sheltered flat. He is in relatively poor health although, despite the occasional confusion, is of sound mind. He has a 'friend' who comes to see him about three times a week who will do his shopping as well as her own at the same time. He will pay for her shopping as well as his own. He also pays for her petrol, despite her living no more than five minutes away. He pays whenever they've been away or been out for a meal and he has also given her a considerable amount of money for other things such as car repairs. In other words he is buying her friendship. She often makes the excuse when not visiting him in hospital, that he isn't her family. We have heard her being quite rude and abrasive to him on the phone when she's obviously assumed he's been on his own, so there is little evidence she really cares about him. She does know that he will do her bidding (provide money) whenever she wants it and has told my partner this in the past. He is also leaving her at least £30,000 in his will. My partner can provide a lot more information, but in short we believe she is fleecing him. Both my partner and her brother have tried explaining the situation to him but he refuses to listen. As he told my partner when she commented, ' You just won't see it dad', 'I don't want to see it'.
As they say there's no fool like an old fool, but is there anything my partner and her brother can do before this woman robs their father blind? Thank you
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Have you spoken to his Doctor to ensure that your assessment of his mental capacity is accurate?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Clare

I'm trying to contact, my partner who can give you more information I do remember her saying that he was diagnosed with vascular dementia. Even though he appears to know what's going on, he is often confused and cannot remember things.

Let me know - that could be important?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My partner replied. He has vascular dementia. She read that in a report and it was highlighted, but didn't state it was extreme. This was some months back. Looking at the symptoms of vascular dementia, he has memory loss in terms of conversations and he is on medication for depression. He says he has heard his door bell ring very late at night but there's no certainty that this happened. He is also incontinent but we're not sure if this is related to this or another illness.

Has your partner spoken to his GP or Consultant and asked if he is still capable of dealing with his own affairs?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

  1. My partner hasn't spoken to his GP but she thinks he is still capable of dealing with his affairs. He has given the GP permission to speak to his friend but not to his son and daughter. He has, however, asked my partner and her brother if they would undertake power of attorney for finance and property only if he became incapable. His solicitor told my partner and her brother that he didn't want them to have power of attorney with regard to his health and welfare. The issue of power of attorney was instigated by his friend and therefore has raised suspicion.

Such a Power needs to be signed BEFORE the Donor becomes mentally incapable and I would suggest that your partner agrees to this being signed as soon as possible since there will have to be a medical assessment at that time.
If he is mentally capable then I am afraid that there is nothing that about his relationship with this woman - not least because it seems that he is actually aware of her faults.
If he does NOT have mental capacity then your partner can apply to be appointed as his Deputy and take control of his finances
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
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